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The Big Government Hippo Crisy that Ate the Car Biz

Monday, June 1st, 2009

“Don’t ever mess with the hippo.” One of my best friends of all time from sub-Saharan Africa told me that human river waders who underestimate the aggression and speed of the hippo may end up being slammed and jammed in a very uncomfortable way by a fast moving gigantic watermelon on legs.

And so it is with the federal government’s Hippo Crisy, hired by the President, Congress and the Car Czar to assist in the gobbling up of America’s once vibrant car biz. Big government’s Hippo Crisy, a native of the Zambezi River delta and a veteran of combat with killer crocs, was brought on board as a contractor (three year term) with a salary of $5 million per year and with full health care insurance coverage, including comprehensive dental. Sweet package!

For the first few months on the job, the feds’ Hippo Crisy was tasked merely to bask in the sun on finely manicured lawns outside the enormous, energy-sucking “cribs” (hometown mansions) of John Edwards, Al Gore and President Obama. About once a week, Hippo Crisy was tossed a capitalist bone in the form of a bank or an insurance company, but her increasing appetite for privately held companies became excessive and spun quickly out of control. She liked the taste of sugary sweet "Capitalist Crunch" cereal and wanted only more, more, more. Sheesh!

At the same time, Hippo Crisy’s finely honed Zambezi River delta “survival of the fittest” values were being corrupted by her new employer, the federal government. Once a hunter and seeker of sustenance, Hippo Crisy no longer wanted to work for a living. She no longer wanted to take action. She no longer wanted to move. She no longer wanted to produce. She had been turned into a government-fed, government-sustained system beater, par excellence. Hey, she considered such a dramatic lifestyle change to be 100% fair. In fact, it represented change that Hippo Crisy could believe in.

In the form of a well conditioned system beater, the feds’ Hippo Crisy soon began to complain more as she did less. Her nanny state employers, instead of documenting her sub-standard performance and reprimanding her, reframed her required duties to include more paid SOYA (Sit on Your - - -) time and scheduled more back massages and pedicures to be carried out during her work hours. Not another month had passed before Hippo Crisy had her own Secret Service detail composed of highly trained female lions recruited from the plains of the Serengeti. And when Hippo Crisy moved, she moved in a stretch limo, not in a soap box derby go cart. And her Secret Service simbas wheeled around in super spiffy black full size SUVs. Government Hippo Crisy, in action. All the way. Shouting loudly, “Yes, we can!” in the taxpayers’ faces.

Ahhhhh! Getting paid to sit back and do nothing was certainly “the life” for the federal government’s Hippo Crisy. Why, indeed, would any sane hippo contemplate working for a living? However, the best was yet to come. During late Spring of 2009, at the invitation of her hypocritical federal government employers, Hippo Crisy opened her jaws, stretched them to the max, and swallowed Chrysler and General Motors in quick succession. Having been seasoned with government-approved butter-free-butter and salt-free-salt prior to grilling, Chrysler and GM formed a tasty two course gourmet dinner meal for the federal government’s favorite capital-consuming beast.

Banks? Insurance companies? Car manufacturers? Car dealers? Who’s next? What’s next? Only big government’s Hippo Crisy and her hypocritical, capitalism-hating employers know for sure. One thing’s for certain. If you work hard for your money and if you work for someone who does the same, keep your heads up and your eyes peeled. There’s an always hungry Hippo Crisy hiding just beneath the surface of the water, waiting patiently to devour the capitalist dream that you both hold close to your hearts. And know that Hippo Crisy’s leash is both thin and weak. Just ask the big government-loving hypocrites on Capitol Hill who hold that leash loosely as they go shopping for Hippo Crisy’s next free meal. Could that next meal be you?

Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

 www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

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Posted in BDC, CRM, Diversity, Fixed Ops, Leadership, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | 2 Comments »

The Problem with “No Problem”

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

 

They live! They really do.

Not the skeleton-faced aliens in the Rowdy Roddy Piper sci-fi film of that name (“They Live”) who disguised themselves as humans and controlled the media spin on all current events. Nope.

Not the chain store shufflenos of all ages wearing service pin-adorned blue, orange or red vests bearing mindless slogans such as “How can I help you?” as they run away from you at breakneck speed if you should dare to approach them in an attempt to ask a question. Nope.

Not the fast food store burger slingers who respond monotonically to every departing burger chomper, “Have a nice day.” Nope.

Well meaning, well trained, highly skilled people within our own industry. They live. Conditioned like Pavlov’s dogs by years of repetition, sales and service professionals in the auto industry have taken to using and reusing the phrase “no problem” reflexively, day in, day out, whenever their customers might have requests or might ask simple questions.

Of course, there’s no inherent evil in the two word phrase “no problem”, that’s not the issue.

The problem with the phrase “no problem” is twofold.

1. It has become a reflexive, “deflecting” response that is so commonly heard that it is now totally devoid of any substantive meaning.

2. It contains the noun “problem.”

Using an empty phrase that is uttered daily by hundreds of thousands of other sales and service professionals nationwide does nothing to differentiate you from the pack. But, if that’s no problem, then, hey, no problem.

And why would you voluntarily select and utter the noun “problem” in any sentence, since your customers, influenced by widespread (unfair) stereotypes of our industry, may be expecting to encounter some sort of “problem” during interactions with you, even if you are truly the greatest thing since sliced bread?

I don’t have a problem with much in this fantastic world of ours, but I do have a problem with “no problem.” You should, too. If not, no problem. See what I mean? Evaluate the extent of the “no problem” problem at your dealership today. Your customers will be glad you did.

Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net 

www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

 

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Posted in CRM, Fixed Ops, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | 2 Comments »

Selling Color with Courage and Courtesy

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

 

Many years ago when I was undergoing Army Special Forces training at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, I was assigned to mentor, as my SF buddy, an airborne infantry lieutenant from a sub-Saharan African country who was attending the same course as a guest of the United States government. At the time, his country’s government had friendly relations with the USA. Due to changing political winds over the past two decades, I will have to refer to my SF buddy as “MSB” in this essay to insure his continued safety. Why? He is a prominent politician in his homeland these days, and there are those who might use an “American connection” against him.

During one of our many camo-clad jaunts through the woods of rural western North Carolina, we got turned around (big time) and had to sneak out to a nearby dirt road junction to determine our exact location. As we approached that intersection, we noticed three white males exiting from the side door of a nearby church and heading for a battered Ford F-100 pick up parked nearby.

Before I could counsel MSB to sit tight and observe, he bounded out of the woods with his M-16A1 rifle slung over his right shoulder and his map & compass held in his right hand. Smiling widely and waving, he approached the three men directly and introduced himself.

Let’s just say that these “three musketeers” were not exactly Steve Forbes and two of his financial advisors, nor were they military personnel, given their slovenly appearance and their long, unkempt hair. They were definitely locals. Judging by the shocked looks on their faces, the clan with which they were likely most familiar did not wear kilts or get together to sing “Loch Lomond” or talk about the unsuccessful Jacobite uprising of 1745 against the British Crown.

As I watched, horror struck, from about 25 meters away, MSB greeted them all personally, shook hands all around, and then placed his map on the hood of the F-100. Ever the gentleman, MSB asked the three musketeers polite questions about their pickup truck, about the Winchester Model Model 94 30-30 rifle in their truck’s gun rack, and about their church. He expressed admiration for the utility of their truck, praised the slim, functional design of their rifle, and commented about the simple beauty of the exterior of the church.

All the while, the stunned three musketeers were staring at the prominent ceremonial tribal scarring on his face and at his filed teeth. One of the men finally said, “Boy, you’re not from around here, are you?” MSB, smiling, replied with the name of his home town and his country of origin, but he did not mention Africa at all. The same musketeer then asked, “That ain’t down near Charlotte, is it?” MSB charged right ahead verbally. He delighted in telling his newly found American pals about the exact location of his hometown and country on the continent of Africa. I recall that “Woo eee!” was the collective response.

Without missing a beat, MSB asked what game the men hunted with their Winchester rifle. The response was “deer.” MSB replied that he had been required to hunt lion with a spear when he was a teenager. You should have seen the widening of the three musketeers’ eyes. Just minutes later, MSB, raised by Christian missionaries, was being given a guided tour of the interior of the three musketeers’ church. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Finally, just before we departed, the three musketeers checked our map carefully and gave us some solid tips on how to navigate around local obstacles. The three musketeers slapped MSB’s back and he slapped theirs, and they exchanged hearty good wishes and genuine pleasantries as if they were close friends or relatives. Wow. Make that "Whew!"

As we jogged back into the woods, I gave MSB a Cliff Notes version of black-white relations in the rural American South and advised him that he could have been killed. His response? “Chris, sometimes, you Americans worry too much about unimportant things. In this case, my skin color. Here in North Carolina, we go out at night on weekends to Hardees to get burgers to eat. Where I live, if we go out at night, something will surely be seeking to eat us. What was the worst thing that could have happened to me here? Maybe God could have pushed me to work a little bit harder to make the three white men be unafraid of my face. Hey, we are good to go! I just made three brand new friends!” He meant it.

MSB, totally unafraid and unaware of existing prejudices, sold three customers the color black (with visible “paint damage”) in a very tight spot where the same customers were conditioned to want and accept only the color white. It was a lesson in the power of courage combined with courtesy that I will never forget as long as I shall live. Courage + courtesy = sale made with perfect CSI to follow!

 Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

 www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

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Posted in CRM, Diversity, Leadership, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | No Comments »

How to Win The War of the Worlds

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

I drank Tang religiously as a kid and prayed that gulping down that orange energy drink would help me become a NASA astronaut. Tang ran one heck of an ad campaign, that’s for sure. Alas, I never got to wear an astronaut’s cool blue flight suit or to put my boots on the surface of the moon, but God remembered my prayers. You see, He allowed me, in His infinite wisdom, to get involved in the retail automotive industry. As a result, instead of having to travel millions of miles through boundless space to visit the Red Planet Mars, I need only drive three short miles to my workplace on terra firma to experience routine encounters of the third kind with Martians who visit my colleagues and me on a routine basis.

Before you dismiss me outright as a Discovery Channel-watching, UFO-believing whack job, please extend me the courtesy of reading this blog entry in its totality. Then, perhaps you will understand how best to win over your own customers from Mars. Because, yes, they are among us. They are watching you and me. They are in our showrooms now. They are everywhere. They are all around us. On Earth.

One would think that well educated, inherently logical Martians, forced to live in an extremely cold, hostile climate back at home, would relish tanning on beaches at Cancun, Key West, Miami or Padre Island during business or holiday jaunts to the Planet Earth. However, for some paradoxical reason, Martians are drawn instead to Earth’s automotive dealership showrooms just as hungry canines are drawn to raw meat.

What to do? Hey, Martians are customers, too, and they deserve nothing less than first class treatment. Here’s how to make that happen. There’s no need to run down to Wal-Mart to buy expensive force fields or Star Trek phasers. Winning over recalcitrant Martians to become customers for life merely requires knowledge of their culture and style and then implementation of appropriate, progressive business practices as outlined below.

Most Martians tend to be brusque and domineering when entering a showroom. Having a limited command of the English language, they will usually either issue a terse imperative command in a loud tone of voice or they will ask a demanding question, also in the same loud tone of voice. (Martians are not known for winning "Miss Manners" competitions.)

Due to an inexplicable fear of chairs, Martians will usually refuse to sit down. Do not, under any circumstances, play the Dovells’ oldies hit "You Can’t Sit Down!" on your dealership’s music system during a Martian "meet and greet", or you will have a World Cup soccer riot on your hands. Most standing Martians love the 2004 smash hip hop hit "Lean Back" (by Fat Joe and Remy Ma) and will, in fact, lean back, while folding their arms across their chests and hiding their hands under their armpits in a classic Martian posture of initial defensiveness.

Below I have outlined a series of "meet and greet" conversations between a Martian-knowledgeable sales professional and a fresh Martian customer who has just burst through a showroom door. As you read these conversations, remember these key elements that are necessary to win over Martian customers:

- Concur (agree to the extent possible with the Martian’s initial utterance)

- Confound with courtesy (use a combination of a non-traditional reply and a courteous delivery to cause the Martian to hesitate and to cease his combative posture)

- Remain silent, do not laugh and smile sincerely (let the Martian absorb fully what has been said by both parties and then let the Martian reply accordingly)

- Re-engage and redirect (restart the conversation at a lower level of intensity and point the Martian in a more positive direction)

Review the word tracks below, tweak them as needed to fit your dealership’s culture, and consider putting them to good use. Remember, in the stress of the "meet and greet" moment, that every Martian needs adequate personal transportation. Also, remember that some fellow Earthlings, deceitful professionals to the core, will "act up" and pretend to be Martians in an attempt to get a better deal on the vehicle of their choice.

SCENARIO ONE:

Martian (shouting as he enters showroom): "All I want is a number on my car!"

Sales Consultant: "That’s fantastic, Sir. My name is Edward. You must be coming in on the NASCAR special. You’re the tenth person today. While we prefer to have our service department handle such customizing, as sales professionals, we will be delighted to help you. We will just need to know the name and number of your favorite NASCAR driver and where you want his number emplaced on your car. On which door? On which window? I will go get the decals, paint and stencils. Our work is 100% guaranteed, service will make it right if you are not satisfied with the quality of our installation. I promise."

SCENARIO TWO:

Martian (shouting as he enters showroom): "All I want is the best price on that one!"

Sales Consultant: "That’s great news, Sir. My name is Ellen. Thank so much for asking us for the best price right up front. You are one in a thousand. You must surely be a successful businessman. Your asking us for the best price allows us to allocate sufficient funds internally to always offer you, our valued customer, the first class sales, service and parts experience that you demand and expect, every time you visit us. Most consumers and customers are not as educated about smart business practices as you are. Such well meaning people often confuse "the best price" with "the lowest price" and think that "the best price" is "the lowest price." They are all really nice people, but they do not possess your "street smarts" about how to run a business in a progressive manner that insures total customer satisfaction. Where did you learn to ask (so wisely) for "the best price?" What type of profitable business do you own and run? I really enjoying meeting and working with savvy consumers just like you."

SCENARIO THREE:

Martian (shouting as he hears his trade appraisal value): "My trade is worth $3,000 more than that!"

Sales Consultant: "I feel exactly the same way about my truck! Just as you feel that your car is worth $3,000 more than its current real market value, my truck has an "emotional value" to me that far exceeds its current real market value. My truck means so much more to me than to some anonymous wholesaler. Accordingly, when I trade it in, I understand that I am going to have to cover the cost of the emotional value, in other words, the monetary difference between what the truck means to me and what it means to a dispassionate auctioneer. My truck is easily worth $3,000 extra to me and to me alone because of where it has taken me in my life. I will admit I have an emotional connection to my truck, just as you have an emotional connection to your own car. I understand totally how you feel. We are alike in that regard. Now, how do you want to handle the indicated "emotional value" difference amount on your car, with cash or through financing?


In summary, Martians, despite their oftentimes disquieting demeanor, always come to automotive dealership showrooms bearing gifts. The gifts borne are in the form of the words that come out of their mouths. Every time a Martian speaks to a sales consultant or to a sales manager, the specific words spoken initially to the dealership employee provide an opportunity for the sales professional to effect a gradual transition to a conversational point where even the most hard core Red Planet resident will smile and say: "Fear not, Earthling, we come in peace, we are buying today, we will be returning often for service, we will refer all of our friends from Neptune, Uranus and Pluto to you, and we will max you out on dealerrater.com!"

P.S. Here’s a final word to the wise: if a Martian customer refers to "Internet pricing", that customer definitely is an Earthling pretending to be a Martian to get the lowest possible price point and a free warranty. True Martians regard the Internet as an outmoded means of communication used only by barbaric, primitive people. How do I know this? A Martian customer told me.

Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

 www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

 

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Posted in CRM, Leadership, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | No Comments »

Remember the PALamo!

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

 

As Santa Anna’s disciplined, well trained Mexican Army prepared to conduct a final assault on the Alamo on the morning of March 6, 1836, one can only surmise what Colonel Travis might have said to Davy Crockett, “Yes, Davy, we’re in big trouble, but look on the bright side, things could be much worse, we could be the CEOs of Chrysler and GM in Spring of 2009!”

The rest is history. Santa Anna’s forces overran the Alamo in short order and took no prisoners. Travis, Crockett and their comrades went down fighting before they could declare Chapter 11 or be tossed out of their offices by the President of the United States or a Horse Czar. In the process, they became part of a Texas legend.

After the Alamo fell, Texans rallying to avenge the defeat took up the battle cry, “Remember the Alamo”, a slogan which remains famous to this day. Many embattled auto business professionals may suffer from occasional bouts of “Colonel Travis Syndrome” as they struggle to keep their companies and dealerships from being overwhelmed by current challenging economic conditions. It can be awfully tempting to compare one’s own situation to the crisis faced by the Alamo’s defenders in 1836.

What to do? Tweak the historical slogan slightly and say, “Remember the PALamo!”

Persistence.

Attitude.

Language.

These are three key, simple attributes / elements that merit your attention on a daily basis if you wish to move with certainty and confidence through the current rough seas.

Persistence in the form of dogged determination is definitely an underrated quality. British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was a zealous advocate and practitioner of persistence. For that reason, today’s Britons do not drive on autobahns, celebrate Oktoberfest, wear lederhosen or speak German as a first language.

Attitude. One’s view of the present moment and of tomorrow frames one’s destiny. The most fantastic plan in the business world can be derailed if its implementer has a jaded attitude. Attitude is 100% controllable. Take control of it. 24 x 7.

Language. Words are gifts that lie dormant in a dictionary and in our brains until we choose to use them. Words can also be “improvised explosive devices” if we select them imprudently and then use them carelessly. Unleash the power of language every day in verbal and written communication to send your customers a clear message that your organization is balanced, centered, focused, reliable, upbeat and ready to exceed their expectations.

Best news of all? The “Remember the PALamo” slogan is 100% free. No invoice. No hit on your monthly statement. No vendor calling your controller weekly to whine that he has not gotten your check as payment for services rendered.

Does your organization practice persistence at all levels?

Do your employees (every last one of them) understand how attitude affects the stability of the business and their paychecks?

Do your employees comprehend how language (word choice) gives them an opportunity to impress and retain or depress and repel your customers during each and every email, telephone and face to face contact?

“Remember the PALamo” at your next management meeting. Tell your managers to come as they are. No boots, muskets or Stetsons are required.

 Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

 www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

 

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Posted in CRM, Fixed Ops, Leadership, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | No Comments »

The Terrible Truth about NADA

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Stop your hand wringing about the swine flu. Set aside your concern about ebola. Worry not about anthrax. Malaria? Don’t lose one minute of sleep thinking about it. NADA? Well, that’s entirely another matter, a grave development meriting the attention of automotive dealer principals nationwide and perhaps even internationally from Andorra to Zambia.

I know exactly what you’re thinking. NADA is the glue that holds us all together. NADA watches out for us in the halls of Congress. NADA is our industry’s NFL and we are coaches and players on thousands of teams scattered all across the country. The NADA annual convention is a must attend affair. NADA is the fabric of automotive commerce in our great nation. NADA is our collective strength in the midst of the storm. NADA is our past, our present and our future.

Well, I have news for you. NADA is a cancer. NADA is a plague. NADA is a virus. NADA creeps stealthily into the air of automotive dealerships worldwide and takes an enormous toll on gross profit. (No, not the NADA that you know so well and appreciate so much. Not that supportive NADA.) Let me explain.

The beautiful, elegant and simple Spanish language, a gift to all mankind, employs the four letter pronoun NADA to mean "nothing." As in not anything. Zero. Zilch. Zippo. The big goose egg. Emptiness. Lack of content. Lack of motion. Lack of progress. Lack of happening. Lack of occurrence. Lack of results. You get the picture.

Interestingly, NADA (the Spanish pronoun) is known, recognized and spoken frequently throughout the English speaking world. It’s noteworthy that persons who do not speak one word of the Spanish language often use the Spanish pronoun NADA in their daily conversations. Yet, what begins as a perfectly innocent habit can morph into a destructive disease.

One does not have to be a degreed disease tracker at the CDC to see how the insidious NADA virus wreaks havoc on showroom floors and at service and parts counters in automotive dealerships everywhere. Infected employees will attempt to disguise their symptoms by using the English word "nothing" to mask the reality that the NADA virus has penetrated deep into their brains and central nervous systems.

CDC specialists assigned to monitor the status of the NADA virus outbreak in the automotive industry have advised dealer principals, general managers, general sales managers, Internet sales managers and service managers to listen for spreading use of the following verbal expressions. Such verbalizations usually indicate a palpable degree of NADA virus infection.

- I’ve got nothing going on today.

- There’s nothing happening right now.

- My customer is doing nothing.

- I have nothing on the board.

- The current incentives mean nothing.

- This month is a big bunch of nothing.

- This is a nothing job.

- Selling cars is a nothing career.

- I show up for work. I get nothing.

- Nothing ever happens during my shift.

You won’t notice feverish brows, nausea, shaking extremities or transient vertigo when the NADA virus strikes your dealerships’ employees. What you will hear is frequent conversational use of the pronouns "nothing" (English) or "nada" (Spanish) in all departments. What to do?

Alert your managers muy pronto. Hold off for now on calling in the local Fire Department’s Hazmat Team in their biohazard suits. LBWA. Lead by walking around. Be silent. Listen. Carefully. The NADA virus is there. Right next to you. The degree of infection depends on the competence and persistence of your management team. Application of bleach won’t help kill the NADA virus. Nor will frequent use of anti-viral sprays.

The only known NADA virus killer also comes to us from the Spanish language. It’s the pronoun ALGO, (the opposite of NADA), meaning "something." Because there’s always SOMETHING happening. All the time. 24 x7. The Spanish pronoun A-L-G-O could also stand for (in English), "Always Look (for) Golden Opportunities."

Encourage your team to embrace an ALGO attitude today, and the dreaded NADA virus will soon be a totally eradicated threat to gross profit. Months from now, you may even enjoy laughing about the NADA virus when you attend the (other) vitally important NADA annual convention in early 2010!

Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

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Posted in CRM, Fixed Ops, Leadership, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | No Comments »

Is The Gauntlet “Killing” Your Customers and Your Gross?

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

 "The Gauntlet"

During the 18th century, visitors to Abenaki Motors’ showrooms in the northeastern USA often encountered stressful shopping experiences. The reins of each customer’s equine trade were routinely tossed onto the roof of a village lodging hut after the used horse manager had taken Sea Biscuit for a quick spin around the forest. Before each customer could state the current status of his search for new transportation, he was most often forced to run the “gauntlet”, which race entailed jogging between two long lines of Abenaki braves armed with war clubs.

As the anxious customer reflexively raised his arms to protect himself during this dealership-mandated run, he was whacked in sequence by “Meet and Greet” (the chief’s favorite son), “Trade Appraisal”, “Early T.O.” (the chief’s wife’s second cousin), “Demo Drive”, “Write Up”, “After Seller” and “Closing Champ”, just to name a few of the gauntlet’s key participants. Most customers who survived this type of gauntlet run signed a P & S and took delivery, just to escape with their lives. They were often too exhausted to care that the Abenaki Motors’ back office, working in harmony with “Closing Champ”, routinely diverted factory CSI surveys to a post office box owned by Early T.O.’s brother-in-law. (What a system! What the heck, it put horses on the board, right?)

Fast forward to Clint Eastwood’s classic 1977 film “The Gauntlet”, in which he starred as a police officer tasked with shepherding a star witness (actress Sondra Locke) from Las Vegas to Phoenix. Attacked along the way by mobsters, bad cops, good cops, a biker gang and a corrupt police commissioner, Eastwood and Locke ran a 20th century gauntlet and got shot to pieces in the process. Of course, the thousands of rounds of ammunition expended by good and bad guys failed to knock down the heroic Eastwood and his female witness. In the end, Eastwood and Locke prevailed. However, one wonders how Eastwood and Locke would fare in a modern day auto dealership’s showroom.

Consider for a moment that the current, well established “road to the sale” process makes excellent business sense from an internal industry perspective, but that many customers regard this process as something both mysterious and nausea-inducing at the same time.

How many times has one of your dealership’s well meaning modern day gauntleteers, probably either “New Bee” or “Burned Out”, said to a fresh showroom customer, “Hey, we got this system here, so I gotta put you into a computer first, or my boss is gonna make me recon canoes for auction, understand?” or “Hey, what’s your e-mail address? My boss makes us ask everybody, but you don’t have to give it to me right now, you can give it to me later along with your cell phone number after we have tortured you for a while. Speaking of torture, we offer complimentary water boarding as part of our elite VIP package, and the after effects are fully covered under warranty for four years!”

Don’t laugh. Well, you may chuckle softly if you so desire. But as you do so, admit that there are many customers who consider entering a dealer’s showroom to be a fate almost worse than death. These customers sense that they are going to be compelled to endure pain in order to effect the purchase and delivery of a new or pre-owned vehicle of their choice. Yes, the perception out there is that a gauntlet of some form, shape or type still exists in every dealer’s showroom.

Why? Because some “modern” dealers, closet fans of the cool 1987 science-fiction film “The Running Man” (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger), may prefer to load their stunned showroom customers into bobsleds (see photo below) and rocket them at neck-snapping speed into the clutches of Buzzsaw, Fireball and Subzero, all of whom are well trained deal writers who know the exact sequence of steps that must be taken on the infamous road to the sale.

 

"Do you know who I am, Schwarzenegger? I starred on Hogan’s Heroes!
Who do you think you are, the future Governor of California? Now, sit
still, shut up and follow our sales process! A demo drive is the next step!"

 

Such “modern” dealers will state, unequivocally, “Hey, we’re new school, not old school, everything is automated, our CRM tool is the best, we’re fast, we’re motivated, we’re movers, we don’t waste our customers’ time. We get it done.” (Too often, “all done”, as in “you know who won’t be coming back again” done.)

I can hear howls of (legitimate) protest from certain intelligent, savvy dealers who may rightfully maintain, “We don’t have gauntlets in our showrooms. We are modern. We are future focused. We are forward thinkers.” Fortunately, more and more progressive dealers out there truly understand the need to acknowledge customers’ real fears about our industry’s selling processes. Such reflective dealers render their internal “road to the sale” processes flexible (within reason) to meet each customer’s unique needs and thereby to exceed his expectations.

What’s the fear factor in your customers’ eyes? What’s the fear factor in your customers’ body language? What’s the fear factor in your customers’ words? Evaluate the existing “gauntlet factor” in your showroom. Be brutally honest. Check with care for the presence of hidden war clubs, Running Man bobsleds and employee attitudes that reveal enjoyment of the presence of a gauntlet of sorts. Retrain your sales team as necessary to instill a sense of clear, deep understanding about the need for consistent, inherent flexibility as customers move with either alacrity or hesitancy along the path to a new or pre-owned vehicle purchase. Get gauntlet-free. Do it today. You will be glad you did. More importantly, so will your growing, relieved customer base. The good word will spread about you. Fast.


(Special historical note to readers: this specific satirical interpretation of an Abenaki "gauntlet" does not represent a true depiction of Abenaki culture in any way. The great Abenaki nation (still existing today) pre-dated the arrival of settlers by thousands of years. Google "Abenaki" to learn more about these proud Native Americans.)

 Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

 www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

 

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A Million Plus Babies Named Justa

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

With all of the "what to name your baby" books flooding the market for the past few generations, something unusual has surely transpired. No, it is not a conspiracy, to be sure, but it is definitely a phenomenon worth investigating. A million plus babies named "Justa" have grown into adults and, as soon as they have reached adulthood, they have descended like locusts upon automotive dealerships all over the USA.

They have swarmed our showroom floors, our service drives, our parts counters, our front lines, our websites and our telephone switchboards from all directions. And this all but inexplicable invasion of Justas continues relentlessly 24 x 7, seemingly unaffected by the current turbulence in the national and world economies. Well, every dealer may not have the Minnow’s fearless crew from Gilligan’s Island to deal courageously with the Justa invasion problem, but he can always call upon his own Justa Defense Force (JDF) unit to keep his domestic and import franchises safe and secure.

Worry not that JDF unit members might be unskilled. All JDF unit members have undergone basic and advanced intelligence collection and target identification training. As the late, great Green Beret singer Barry Sadler would be crooning today, if he were still alive, "One hundred auto sales consultants will train today, but only three win the JDF beret."

Doubtful? Here are some examples of first rate intelligence collection and target identification passed on directly by JDF unit members in verbal after action reports. (Rigid security regulations required as part of OPERATION NOLOG prevented the documentation of the following data in any dealerships’ CRM systems or paper desk logs.)

He’s JUSTA brochure seeker.

She’s JUSTA tire kicker.

He’s JUSTA lost soul who is asking for directions.

She’s JUSTA vendor who wants to sell us something.

He’s JUSTA driver delivering new cars.

She’s JUSTA driver picking up used cars for auction.

He’s JUSTA friend of the GSM’s second cousin’s great aunt who still drives a Yugo.

She’s JUSTA person who e-mails us all of the time and never buys anything.

He’s JUSTA parts driver for one of our wholesale accounts.

She’s JUSTA bi-weekly be back who is three months away from buying.

He’s JUSTA price grinder who will torpedo us on CSI.

She’s JUSTA look-e-loo who is not serious about purchasing anytime soon.

He’s JUSTA guy who is looking for a car for his son who is serving in the Peace Corps in Zambia.

She’s JUSTA complaining customer who does not like our dealership.

He’s JUSTA stroker who will waste my valuable time.

She’s JUSTA close friend of the general manager’s attorney whose daughter attends college with the dealer principal’s son.

You get the picture. Years ago, millions of reflective women felt compelled to name their babies Justa and, baby, those grown up Justas have decided that automotive dealerships are absolutely fantastic places to hang out!

Here’s the good: sales consultants serving in JDF units do not have to remember multiple first names, since almost every person that they encounter is named Justa.

Here’s the bad: every Justa has a weird, unusual surname that may be hard for a sales consultant serving in a JDF unit to remember. (Thank God that such unconventional surnames never have to be written down. Whew.)

Here’s the ugly: for every Justa that is noticed casually, pigeon-holed verbally and then ignored or repelled by a sales consultant who serves in a dealership’s JDF unit, the long term loss of gross profit in sales, service, parts and accessories should justa ’bout stop that dealer’s heart from beating.

What is the daily Justa count at your dealership? Who serves (too) proudly and (too) willingly in your dealership’s JDF unit? What can be done to turn all Justas into opportunities? These are questions that definitely need to be asked. Yes, some answers that you find may be hard to swallow, but the discovery process is justa ‘nother step along the road to transforming your dealership into a place where no potential customer’s first name is ever Justa.

 Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

 www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

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Posted in CRM, Diversity, Fixed Ops, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | 1 Comment »

Car People, Get Ready

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

During Motown’s heyday, Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions recorded a soulful hit, "People, Get Ready", a knock out of a chart climber that has surely stood the test of time. Noted recording artist Alicia Keys re-recorded this beautiful song recently as part of the soundtrack of the inspirational film "Glory Road", the moving story of the 1966 NCAA college championship basketball team from Texas Western that featured an all African-American starting five in a turbulent era when overt bigotry and racism were still much in evidence across much of the USA.

The lyrics of this memorable song’s first verse are: "People, get ready, there’s a train a comin’, you don’t need no baggage, you just get on board, all you need is faith to hear the diesels humming, don’t need no ticket, you just thank the Lord." Overt religious meaning of the song’s words and our own personal religious preferences aside, reflecting on the lyrics of "People, Get Ready" provides each of us an opportunity to consider the nature of trains that pass our way daily and how ready we are to make the most of such passages.

You see, each and every day, trains pass by us in the form of e-mail messages, telephone calls and personal face to face encounters with other individuals. Do we give thanks quietly for these wonderful opportunities to engage with trains’ passengers (all or whom are either current customers or potential customers) and do we enthusiastically "get on board" when communicating with them? Or do we watch trains pass by with casual apathy? Or do we board them grudgingly and take our seats while ignoring the other passengers, even animated people who may have waved at us from trains’ windows as passenger cars ground to momentary halts in our e-mail inboxes, on our telephone extensions or in front of our desks?

Just the other day, I placed an outbound call to a vendor’s level 1 technical support center to report a problem with e-lead streaming. When my phone call was answered, a train stopped at my desk when the support representative introduced himself as "Sonder." It took a few minutes of conversation, but the reason for the e-lead streaming problem was determined and the problem was rectified. Immediately, I circled back to "get on board" the train: I asked the support representative to repeat his name, slowly. He said that his name was actually "Sandro." I remarked, "Wow, what a cool name, may I ask your family’s heritage?" Sandro was delighted to reveal that he was Brazilian-American and that his family hailed from Sao Paulo.

Without hesitating for two seconds, I asked Sandro if he had ever traveled to Brazil’s version of our "Wild West" up north in Belem, if he had ever gone swimming off the shark-infested beaches of Recife, or if he had ever hiked through the remote jungles of the Mato Grosso. Sandro’s immediate, excited reaction was that I was the first client who had ever cared enough to talk to him about his background. He was thrilled to take a few minutes to discuss the culture and geography of his beloved homeland. We also chatted about the differences between the Portuguese and Spanish languages, during which conversation he revealed that his spouse was a Mexican-American woman who teased him incessantly about his bogus Spanish accent. My sixth sense and Sandro’s upbeat tone of voice told me that he was smiling, ear to ear.

Soon, the whistle sounded, indicating that Sandro’s train was about to depart. Before our telephone conversation ended, I advised him, "Sandro, give my best wishes to Sam, Tasha, Laura and the rest of your level 1 support team. You guys and gals are the best. And rest assured that when I travel down to Carnival in Rio and end up in the wrong place at the wrong time with Mrs. Ferris by my side, I am going to use your name to make all of my problems go away." Sandro laughed so loudly that the phone receiver almost shook as he indicated that he would "hook me up" with the right people from his extended family. I added, "Just so you know, if you should ever have any kind of question regarding purchasing or servicing a car, please call me or send me an e-mail message. I will be delighted to assist you. I will send you my contact information for your personal file."

Sandro thanked me for calling him about the e-lead streaming problem and closed by expressing sincere delight that I had taken a few minutes to discover who he was as a person. As the train pulled away, I remarked, "Sandro, always know that when it’s Chris Ferris calling you with a 911 issue to fix, you can relax. It’s going to be a good day. Because there’s really no such thing as a bad day. It’s all in our attitudes." Sandro replied, "You got it! I can’t wait for the next call!" And with that, the train pulled away from the station as our phone conversation ended.

So, car people, get ready. Watch with excitement for the headlights of inbound trains. On each train there will undoubtedly be at least one passenger who is hoping that you are going to "get on board" and make his or her day a memorable one. Ready or not, trains are coming. 24 x 7. Without fail. To your e-mail inboxes. To your telephone extensions. In front of your desks. Who ever said that the age of rail was over? Train travel does indeed still "rock" in an oh so interesting way that has nothing whatsoever to do with AMTRAK. So, get on board. Today. Every day. Every week. Every month. All year long. Forever. You will be so glad you did.

Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

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Posted in CRM, Diversity, Fixed Ops, Leadership, Motivation, Sales, Social Networking, Training | No Comments »

What’s Your Tight 360 Factor?

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

 

Last Easter Sunday, three AK-47 wielding Somali pirates were threatening the life of U.S. Merchant Marine Captain and Vermonter Richard Phillips, whom they were holding at gunpoint in a lifeboat. That reckless decision on the pirates’ part turned out to be an extremely bad career move.

Let’s just say that staffing managers at Blackhawk Down Employment Services in downtown Mogadishu need not be looking for any more inbound e-mails or resumes from those three job-hunting pirates, thanks to the outstanding marksmanship skills of three intrepid U.S. Navy SEALs who got the green light to drop the hammer on the modern day Blackbeards. The U.S. armed forces sent an unambiguous message to Captain Phillips (who was "in extremis"): "We’ve got your back." As for the pirates, the message was, "AMF", and that doesn’t stand for American Military Forces.

Tight 360 is a term used in the military to denote a formation in which a small group of armed combatants forms a "back to back" perimeter to afford a 360 degree view of the surrounding area … and approaching enemy forces or otherwise unknown individuals.

Please understand that Tight 360 is not just a formation, it’s an attitude, it’s a philosophy, it’s a way of life. You’ve either got it … or not. There’s no "sort of" or "half baked" or "a little bit" or "maybe" in Tight 360 land. It’s yea or nay. It’s yes or no. It’s a black and white issue, a thumbs up or thumbs down answer, without equivocation or hand wringing or political wind testing. How remarkable and refreshing in today’s world of moral relativism and constantly moving goal posts.

When the sierra hits the fan, Tight 360ers take it in stride and smile. When audacity is required in the execution of a risky business operation, Tight 360ers step forward to say, "We’re in!" When average Joes and Janes stampede headlong for the company’s exit ramp in an emergency, Tight 360ers remain behind to coordinate and implement a contingency plan that assures continuity and maximizes stability under the daunting circumstances of the moment.

What’s the Tight 360 factor in your company, in your dealership, in your family, in your group of closest friends? It’s a question well worth asking and answering before the (next) Perfect Storm, whatever it may be, comes out of nowhere and threatens to sink your own "Andrea Gail" with the loss of all hands. Don’t let that happen. Live the Tight 360 life. Starting today.

Christopher Ferris   c 603.233.8759   ferriscc@comcast.net

 www.drivingsales.com/blog/chrisferris

 

 

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