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I just received a service lead from a company, and this is what was in the body of the comments of said lead:
Hurshmotors.com Team, I thought you might like to know some of the reasons why you are not getting more organic (FREE) search engine traffic for 1. Your home page rank is 3, this can be improved further. 2. Open directory listing is not available. 3. Your site has 155 yahoo back links, this can be improved further. There are many additional improvements that could be made to your website, and if you would like to learn about them, and are curious to know what our working together would involve, then I would be glad to provide you with a detailed analysis in the form of a SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION (SEO) SITE REPORT. To brief you about our company, in addition to SEO, we provide Social Media Optimization (SMO) and reputation management for our clients. Our efforts on behalf of our clients have brought thousands of keywords to the first page of Google organic search results with excellent conversion rates. I will be happy to provide you with a list of clients with contact details, keyword rankings, etc. Our clients will be happy to talk with you about their experience with our services. Our clients consistently tell us that their customers find them because they are at the top of the Google search rankings. Being at the top left of Google (#1- #5 organic positions) is the best thing you can do for your company's website traffic and online reputation. Sounds interesting? Feel free to email us or alternatively you can provide us with your phone number and the best time to call you.
Dear SEO SuperRockstar ORM Guru Vendor,
1) I am not Hurshmotors.com - but thanks for doing your homework as it really shows you care.
2) Anything you say to me has just got thrown out the window because you are speaking about my SEO, my page rank, etc, etc - yet you have the wrong dealer! #Winning
3) 155 backlinks...um....lets try again (Here's a hint - add 9,649)
4) You would really talk to me and let me know how I can improve your wrong statistics? Thank you Mr. Guru!
5) Thank you for spelling out what SEO means - very much appreciated Mr. Rockstar. I was lost until that clarification.
6) As much as I would love to see your referral sheet, I think I have already learned enough in a few sentences.
7) Once again - thank you for telling me what organic listings mean. I was getting lost once again and you reigned me back in.
8) Lastly thank you for giving me your contact info so I can reach out to you about my horrible rankings, back links, and all around ignorance regarding this whole internet "thing". Where would we be if we didn't have businesses such as yours submitting bogus service leads with wrong information regarding websites.
Take care and have a nice life sir.
Not Impressed by your SEO Mad Skillz