Negotiations: Should we really be going for "No" ? (PART 2)

Chris Younggren

In our last video and post, I called BS on Yes questions. For years we’ve been backed into a corner with yes questions. When someone starts in with this line of yes questioning we start getting uncomfortable and we are wondering where all the yeses are taking us and what we are committing.

Chris Voss in his book, Never Split the Difference says, there are 3 types of yeses:

1. Confirmation

2. Counterfeit

3. Commitment

Because most people have been burned by saying yes in the past, they give you counterfeit yes just to see where you are going. These counterfeit yeses are BS. Not real and therefore useless. That brings us to using no questions. In today’s negotiation word no serves you better b/c it lets the other party feel safe and secure. Now, with no fear they can actually listen and think about what you are saying instead of trying to figure you your yes game. To switch to no we just change the way we frame the question.

For example in car sales if our guest is leaving we we’ll say, you do like the car don’t you? Instead we could say, Is it that you don’t like the car? Because they are protected by no, you increase the chance they will tell you their honest reasons for not pulling the trigger on the sale. Now the second part to these No questions is that now you have the sincere objection, you can repeat it back to them in a way that they say to you, "that’s right". Finally someone understands me! Like it’s an eureka moment! Once you can get to this point you will now be in ultimate rapport and because of that you both put can now quit hiding your cards. Now you might be able to collaborate to make a deal that is better than both of you could ever imagined.

(watch the video for an example of this in action)

 

Morgan Hardy

I think this would great training for a BDC department to practice. Most times, being the first point of contact, it's important to feel confident with our questions and to have control of the conversation. 

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