Look for the "Yes!"--as "no" can find you without any help!
Do you often find yourself locking into what is wrong about something rather than what is right? Both wrong and right are good to consider, certainly--however, what are you looking for? A way to say "yes" or a way to say "no"?
Looking for the "no" first is really fear-driven. From relationships to home-buying to weight loss, we often fear change and run for comfort, and we think saying "no" means we don't have to change. We can stay the same, and we tell ourselves that we'll certainly change later if only we can find the "right" person, item, or program we want. Really, however, none of these are the reason we stopped--we ran to "no" because we were more comfortable holding back and longing for the "right" item rather than risking to really achieve it, more comfortable living in a dreamland than trying to live our dream.
And it's not all in our control, nor should it be. Life-changing events can certainly be accidental or random: You might find oil on some property, inherit some wealth, or find love in the drive-thru, but those are stories of just a few people. The rest of us see those happy people and think that couldn't be us, even if we worked on success. And worked very hard. But why? Because we think luck is needed, and we say we aren't lucky. Or we don't have time, we don't know the right people, we aren't ready for the risk. We find the "no" without even asking the question. Without any consideration of a path that can really get us what we want.
Well, if you achieved the love of your life, you would have to risk the heartbreak of your life, correct? If you achieved the job of your life, you would have to leave the limited position you have now, right? If you achieved improvement in your health, you would have to abandon those comfortable habits and face some pain of self-denial, don't you see?
But all that is hard. And risky. And so we settle for the "no", and in fact we seek it. Because "no" is easy and risk-free, and it means we can continue doing what we do without change. This is a foolish proposition, however, because change is inevitable . For everyone, everywhere. Staying in place in anything eventually invites rust and decay, and that is just another type of change: comfortable change, gradual change, and certainly useless change. Which is another word for rot. Or roadkill.
So, choose instead to think differently! Since change is inevitable, anyway, no matter what we do, why not build your change on the "yes" rather than on the "no"? Risk achievement rather than accept decay?
That's right: Look for the "Yes!"--as "no" can find you without any help. You want to find it. Right?
by Keith Shetterly, Copyright 2005, 2012
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