“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” 

The way John Quincy Adams defines leadership in this infamous quote is incredibly powerful and accurate.  According to Wikipedia, leadership is both a research area and a practical skill encompassing the ability of an individual, group or organization to "lead", influence or guide other individuals, teams, or entire organizations. 

We often believe that once we receive an authoritative title, that automatically makes us a leader.  The truth is, we become leaders long before the title comes. As John Quincy Adams stated some 200 years ago, it’s a skill that can be developed and one that we all have the capability of being in our own way. 

So, what’s the best way to influence others, ultimately contributing to their own development and growth?

In my experience, it’s through our actions and behaviour that is the ultimate testament to the type of leader we become and how much influence we have over our own results in life and that of others.  As we know from NLP, our actions and behaviours are influenced by the story we associate to situations that happen for us in life. From there, that determines our feelings and emotions, thinking, our actions and ultimately the results we get in life.

We can’t expect to be able to effectively lead others if we can’t effectively lead ourselves. The people we spend the most time with, at home and work, know the truth.  They know if we are following through on what we say we’ll do.  There is no faking leadership.

Let’s take a look at 5 qualities that great leaders, such as ourselves, have developed...

1. Self-Awareness;

Let’s circle back to the Neurolinguistic Programming Communication Model for a second. There’s an external event (situation) that happens in our life, from there the way that we feel, the emotions that we generate, the actions and behaviours we project, our state of mind, and physiology, are all influenced by the story (meaning) we give to that situation. 

Self-awareness is the ability to focus on ourselves and how our actions, thoughts, or emotions do or do not align with our internal standards. If we’re highly self-aware, we can objectively (vs subjectively) evaluate ourselves, manage our emotions, align our behaviour with our values, and understand correctly how others perceive us.

By changing the story and meaning of situations, we can improve our actions and outcomes. It starts with being aware of how we operate which is why understanding the NLP Communication Model, even at its most basic level, is so important. The key but arguably most difficult habit to develop is the ability to look at ourselves objectively. This takes time, patience, and deliberate practice.

Master this though, and you will unquestionably increase your value as a leader and have more of a positive influence on others.

2. Gratitude;

What are you thinking in the last 5 minutes before you go to sleep? And what about the first 5 minutes of waking up? 

This is an opportune time to influence our subconscious and program ourselves to become thankful for all that we have in our life. We develop the ability to focus on the gain over the gap as Dan Sullivan would say. Slowing down and taking 10 minutes a day is a game-changer, especially if you’re spending 0 minutes on it now.

By being grateful, we improve our own physical and psychological health, quality of sleep, energy levels, self-esteem, and empathy for others.  Other additional benefits is that it positively impacts our relationships, increases our optimism, makes us more giving, reduces stress and fatigue, and facilitates recovery from both physical and mentally draining activities. 

On top of this, if we wanted to quantify it or tie gratitude to some form of monetary value, it’s easy to imagine what the additional sales could be but also, just think of how much being a better leader through gratitude will reduce turnover.  What were your turnover costs last year and what would it mean to you if you could reduce it by even 20%?

3. Empathy;

Have you ever had a boss who had zero empathy for what you were going through? Me too. That’s why they are a boss and not a leader.

We don’t feel safe around people who lack empathy and in my experience, all they seem to care about are the results.  The idea that they aren’t directly responsible for the results has never entered their mind. As leaders, we aren’t directly responsible for the results.  What we are responsible for are ourselves first and foremost, from there we are responsible for the environment, culture, teamwork, collaboration, coaching, and ultimately the people.  All of this will lead to the results we’re striving for and we can’t get there without empathy.

Some of the ways that empathy leads to becoming a better leader are a deeper understanding of the other person’s point of view, a safe environment which leads to better communication, more attentive listening, and a culture of respect.

Be mindful that empathy comes with a warning however, because some people can view it as an opportunity to manipulate or influence your decisions for their benefit. The goal is to have empathy while remaining objective and stoic. A difficult skill to develop, but one that will be worth investing in.

4. Integrity;

Are you aware of what your core values are? Mine are LID - Leadership, Integrity and Development.

When we live with integrity, we stay true to our core values. This must become non-negotiable for us if it hasn’t already.  We must not be willing to trade any kind of vice for our core values regardless of how tempting. Your core values may be honesty, which means lying is a non-negotiable, it can’t happen.  Another may be committed, which means that if you say you’re going to do something, you follow through regardless of how you feel.

By staying true to our core values, we build a reputation for being trustworthy.  With trust, we are able to motivate and inspire the actions of others because what we say is supported by our integrity and reputation.  Integrity is the key ingredient in trust. When I think of integrity, I think of authenticity.  Authentic leadership is about the alignment of what you think, say, and do. The more consistently we’re able to do this, the more we’re ingraining integrity in our character.

5. Learning Machine;

It’s impossible for someone to learn something that they think they already know. I’m not sure about you, but school wasn’t my strength. There was no drive or strong desire to learn as much as I possibly could so that I could apply that knowledge in the real world.

This is why it’s surprising a bit that I now consider myself a learning machine.  But perhaps a skill that I’m most proud of developing recently, is the ability to take that knowledge, filter what’s most important for me to know, and execute on that knowledge in the real world. Once starting down the path of perpetual development, there is no going back.

By becoming learning machines, we are better able to serve others.  We can learn about coaching versus consulting for example and when to apply each skill in different situations. From there, we can deliberately practice and further develop these skills at work and at home.

The moment we think we’ve learned all there is to know about something, is the precise moment we must commit to learning even more about that subject. Remember that contentment is the enemy of progress.

You got this!

Brandin