Wait, what?

Goat testicles?

Yes you read that correctly, and no, it’s not just a lame attempt to grab your attention and then pull the old bait and switch on you…  So what am I talking about?  Well first let me give you the short version of the John Brinkley story and then I will explain how it applies to the car business.

In 1918 “Dr.” John Brinkley (after years of selling patent medications and various other quackery) opened a clinic in Milford, Kansas where he began performing a procedure promising to restore virility and cure the “sexually weak”.  As you no doubt have guessed based on the title of this post, the procedure involved transplanting the goat glands into the patient. 

Now you may not be shocked to learn that there were often complications with the procedure.  He had next to no actual credentials as a doctor, often performed the operations while intoxicated and paid less attention to contamination and germs than the doctor from Dirty Dancing.

What may surprise you though is that rather than being chased out of town with pitchforks, Brinkley was absolutely ADORED by the general public.  He built his business with direct mail and eventually radio, becoming incredibly famous and bringing tons of money into the town and the state. After the American Medical Association finally caught up with him and revoked his license he ran for Governor as a write in candidate and would’ve won if not for a large portion of his votes not getting counted on a technicality. 

After his campaign he took to the airwaves dispensing medical advice and shilling products for advertisers.   When his radio license was taken away he set up the first ultra powerful “border blaster” radio station just inside the Mexico border, and kept right at it…

Eventually he was shut down, sued, and died crippled and penniless.

So.  How does this apply in any way to the car business?

Well by no means am I suggesting that anyone do anything dishonest to make a buck.  But we can still learn a thing or two from Brinkley such as:

No matter what method of advertising he was using he focused on offering the prospect what THEY were looking for.  The focus of his advertising was the result he was promising (turning a hapless man into “the ram that am with every lamb”) he didn’t spend much time focusing on the goat…

He embraced different methods.  He made a fortune with direct mail before he was introduced to radio and became a pioneer in that industry.  Does that mean that he gave up on the mail?  No, he used the techniques he’d been successful with in the mail as a foundation to make a fortune on the radio.

And before you say it was just because people were stupid back then, keep in mind they would probably feel the same way about financing a vehicle over 96 months…

Instead of thinking the old methods of advertising don’t work anymore now that the internet exists, why don’t you join me in taking the lessons of the old school and apply them to the modern technology? 

I mean really, if a guy can sell goat testicle surgery through the mail, we should be able to get someone to give us their email address and phone number shouldn’t we?

Wait, what?

Goat testicles?

Yes you read that correctly, and no, it’s not just a lame attempt to grab your attention and then pull the old bait and switch on you…  So what am I talking about?  Well first let me give you the short version of the John Brinkley story and then I will explain how it applies to the car business.

In 1918 “Dr.” John Brinkley (after years of selling patent medications and various other quackery) opened a clinic in Milford, Kansas where he began performing a procedure promising to restore virility and cure the “sexually weak”.  As you no doubt have guessed based on the title of this post, the procedure involved transplanting the goat glands into the patient. 

Now you may not be shocked to learn that there were often complications with the procedure.  He had next to no actual credentials as a doctor, often performed the operations while intoxicated and paid less attention to contamination and germs than the doctor from Dirty Dancing.

What may surprise you though is that rather than being chased out of town with pitchforks, Brinkley was absolutely ADORED by the general public.  He built his business with direct mail and eventually radio, becoming incredibly famous and bringing tons of money into the town and the state. After the American Medical Association finally caught up with him and revoked his license he ran for Governor as a write in candidate and would’ve won if not for a large portion of his votes not getting counted on a technicality. 

After his campaign he took to the airwaves dispensing medical advice and shilling products for advertisers.   When his radio license was taken away he set up the first ultra powerful “border blaster” radio station just inside the Mexico border, and kept right at it…

Eventually he was shut down, sued, and died crippled and penniless.

So.  How does this apply in any way to the car business?

Well by no means am I suggesting that anyone do anything dishonest to make a buck.  But we can still learn a thing or two from Brinkley such as:

No matter what method of advertising he was using he focused on offering the prospect what THEY were looking for.  The focus of his advertising was the result he was promising (turning a hapless man into “the ram that am with every lamb”) he didn’t spend much time focusing on the goat…

He embraced different methods.  He made a fortune with direct mail before he was introduced to radio and became a pioneer in that industry.  Does that mean that he gave up on the mail?  No, he used the techniques he’d been successful with in the mail as a foundation to make a fortune on the radio.

And before you say it was just because people were stupid back then, keep in mind they would probably feel the same way about financing a vehicle over 96 months…

Instead of thinking the old methods of advertising don’t work anymore now that the internet exists, why don’t you join me in taking the lessons of the old school and apply them to the modern technology? 

I mean really, if a guy can sell goat testicle surgery through the mail, we should be able to get someone to give us their email address and phone number shouldn’t we?

You do want more customers don’t you?

Well typically when we think of getting more customers we think of advertising.  So what is advertising?

Before you read on, take a minute to come up with an answer.  What is your definition of advertising? 

Does it involve branding, or getting your name out there?

Really take the time to come up with something, it’s important.  But don’t beat yourself up over it if you struggle.  It took years of searching for a man who is now known as the father of modern advertising Albert Lasker to finally find a suitable definition for advertising.

In 1904 Lasker met with a former Canadian Mounted Police officer named John E. Kennedy who was finally able to give him the definition he had been searching for, which was surprisingly only 3 words…

“Salesmanship in print”

Now over time with the changing technology the definition has been modified to the more appropriate “Salesmanship Multiplied”, but the idea is the same.

What does this history lesson have to do with getting more customers to set foot in your showroom?

Well if you really understand the definition “Salesmanship Multiplied” and take it to heart, we in the auto industry have the immediate edge over almost anyone else in the world when it comes to marketing because we understand and appreciate (and survive through) the art of selling.  Major portions of society think selling is dirty, pushy, or beneath them and would choose almost any title short of pedophile over that of a salesperson.  That means that their advertising will be easily ignored in favor of that written by someone who understands it.

What is Salesmanship Multiplied?

This means each ad you create (whether online or physical) is like thousands of little clones of your best salesperson sent out to get the attention of the prospect and entice them to take action.  How does this knowledge affect the way you advertise?  Well, like salespeople, your ads can be finicky and require some polishing before they get the right message out there. 

This means that they also have to be tracked for effectiveness.  Can you imagine not keeping track of which of your salespeople were selling the most?  Would you ever just take the total pay and divide it evenly among all the salespeople?  Of course not, just like with your staff, you want to keep what works and get rid of what doesn’t.

So how are you going to get these customers that I promised you?  Keep this definition in mind, put on your salesperson hat and write some ads that sound the way you’d want your salespeople to sound.  (Ask some questions, don’t overwhelm them with information, and for the love of god talk about something other than price!)

You do want more customers don’t you?

Well typically when we think of getting more customers we think of advertising.  So what is advertising?

Before you read on, take a minute to come up with an answer.  What is your definition of advertising? 

Does it involve branding, or getting your name out there?

Really take the time to come up with something, it’s important.  But don’t beat yourself up over it if you struggle.  It took years of searching for a man who is now known as the father of modern advertising Albert Lasker to finally find a suitable definition for advertising.

In 1904 Lasker met with a former Canadian Mounted Police officer named John E. Kennedy who was finally able to give him the definition he had been searching for, which was surprisingly only 3 words…

“Salesmanship in print”

Now over time with the changing technology the definition has been modified to the more appropriate “Salesmanship Multiplied”, but the idea is the same.

What does this history lesson have to do with getting more customers to set foot in your showroom?

Well if you really understand the definition “Salesmanship Multiplied” and take it to heart, we in the auto industry have the immediate edge over almost anyone else in the world when it comes to marketing because we understand and appreciate (and survive through) the art of selling.  Major portions of society think selling is dirty, pushy, or beneath them and would choose almost any title short of pedophile over that of a salesperson.  That means that their advertising will be easily ignored in favor of that written by someone who understands it.

What is Salesmanship Multiplied?

This means each ad you create (whether online or physical) is like thousands of little clones of your best salesperson sent out to get the attention of the prospect and entice them to take action.  How does this knowledge affect the way you advertise?  Well, like salespeople, your ads can be finicky and require some polishing before they get the right message out there. 

This means that they also have to be tracked for effectiveness.  Can you imagine not keeping track of which of your salespeople were selling the most?  Would you ever just take the total pay and divide it evenly among all the salespeople?  Of course not, just like with your staff, you want to keep what works and get rid of what doesn’t.

So how are you going to get these customers that I promised you?  Keep this definition in mind, put on your salesperson hat and write some ads that sound the way you’d want your salespeople to sound.  (Ask some questions, don’t overwhelm them with information, and for the love of god talk about something other than price!)

(I apologize in advance for the rant that is about to take place…)

All of the discussion around the commercials that air during the biggest football game of the year is enough to make me wish I could turn into the Hulk and start smashing everything in sight.  Which one was the best?  Who missed the mark?  Are they just playing it safe?  Are they as creative as they used to be?  Is the insane cost of them worth it?  Grrr…

I HATE YOU SUPER BOWL ADS, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

Now don’t get me wrong, I like to laugh and be entertained as much as the next guy.  (Probably more) So I am certainly not suggesting that if you are entertained by these commercials that you are an idiot.  I appreciate the creativity and the humor too.   My hatred stems from the idea that the buzz they generate is good marketing. 

As Kevin O’Leary is fond of saying on the Shark Tank (and the Dragons Den) “I mourn the good money that is being killed by this nonsense.”

“But everyone is talking about them…”

On the surface yes, it seems like a good thing to have tens of millions of people watching and discussing your commercial.  I get the thinking behind it.  The problem is they are discussing your commercial, not the benefits of your business, not your products, not your services. 

Legend has it that marketing super-genius Gary Halbert used to take the ads he was working on down to a local bar and read them to the patrons.  If they said “Hey, that’s a great ad…” he would throw it in the garbage.  If the response was “Where can I get that product?” he knew he had a winner.  What Gary knew, that these other people don’t get is that the ad is supposed to highlight the offer being made, not attract attention to itself.  It’s like the window of a store; the idea is to see the display inside, not the window itself.  If you are noticing the window it’s probably dirty. 

If everyone is talking about your commercial, guess what?

YOU JUST SPENT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO ENTER YOUR AD AGENCY IN A “CREATIVE AD CONTEST”

If there is an award to be won, it’s the agency that gets it.  We aren't trying to win advertising industry awards, we are trying to make money.

Then there is the cost of these things… $3,500,000 just for the air time?  Plus the cost of actually creating the ads?  Yes there is a huge audience seeing them, but how many of them are currently looking for your product or service?

Do you honestly think that Doritos is going to generate an extra 10 million in profits as a direct result of their advertising on Sunday?  Do you know how many chips that is?

Now that I’ve gotten this out and I’m starting to calm down, yes I understand that some of the discussion will help sell some products, (though I can almost guarantee that the ads aren’t profitable) and these big dumb companies can afford to throw the money away anyways… 

However it scares me to think that the rest of us with small and medium sized companies are going to see this hype and think blowing the marketing budget on big goofy ads that don’t sell anything is the way to go.

Please don’t be an idiot, stay away from the dark side.  Hold your advertising accountable and don’t spend money on things that don’t generate the desired result.  (More customers/money…)

(I apologize in advance for the rant that is about to take place…)

All of the discussion around the commercials that air during the biggest football game of the year is enough to make me wish I could turn into the Hulk and start smashing everything in sight.  Which one was the best?  Who missed the mark?  Are they just playing it safe?  Are they as creative as they used to be?  Is the insane cost of them worth it?  Grrr…

I HATE YOU SUPER BOWL ADS, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

Now don’t get me wrong, I like to laugh and be entertained as much as the next guy.  (Probably more) So I am certainly not suggesting that if you are entertained by these commercials that you are an idiot.  I appreciate the creativity and the humor too.   My hatred stems from the idea that the buzz they generate is good marketing. 

As Kevin O’Leary is fond of saying on the Shark Tank (and the Dragons Den) “I mourn the good money that is being killed by this nonsense.”

“But everyone is talking about them…”

On the surface yes, it seems like a good thing to have tens of millions of people watching and discussing your commercial.  I get the thinking behind it.  The problem is they are discussing your commercial, not the benefits of your business, not your products, not your services. 

Legend has it that marketing super-genius Gary Halbert used to take the ads he was working on down to a local bar and read them to the patrons.  If they said “Hey, that’s a great ad…” he would throw it in the garbage.  If the response was “Where can I get that product?” he knew he had a winner.  What Gary knew, that these other people don’t get is that the ad is supposed to highlight the offer being made, not attract attention to itself.  It’s like the window of a store; the idea is to see the display inside, not the window itself.  If you are noticing the window it’s probably dirty. 

If everyone is talking about your commercial, guess what?

YOU JUST SPENT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO ENTER YOUR AD AGENCY IN A “CREATIVE AD CONTEST”

If there is an award to be won, it’s the agency that gets it.  We aren't trying to win advertising industry awards, we are trying to make money.

Then there is the cost of these things… $3,500,000 just for the air time?  Plus the cost of actually creating the ads?  Yes there is a huge audience seeing them, but how many of them are currently looking for your product or service?

Do you honestly think that Doritos is going to generate an extra 10 million in profits as a direct result of their advertising on Sunday?  Do you know how many chips that is?

Now that I’ve gotten this out and I’m starting to calm down, yes I understand that some of the discussion will help sell some products, (though I can almost guarantee that the ads aren’t profitable) and these big dumb companies can afford to throw the money away anyways… 

However it scares me to think that the rest of us with small and medium sized companies are going to see this hype and think blowing the marketing budget on big goofy ads that don’t sell anything is the way to go.

Please don’t be an idiot, stay away from the dark side.  Hold your advertising accountable and don’t spend money on things that don’t generate the desired result.  (More customers/money…)

Does this sound familiar?

Boss: “Okay, so we have to generate some floor traffic, let’s advertise a big sale…”

Lackey: “Good idea boss, but how are we going to make it work?  When we did that last week we didn’t get much traffic.”

 Boss: “That’s because the guys down the street had a big sale last week.”

Lackey: “I think they have one this week too…”

Boss: “But this week we’ll use louder voices in our radio spots, and bigger starbursts in the newspaper…”

Lackey: “What if they put balloons on the cars?”

Boss: “We’ll use MORE balloons, BIGGER balloons!  Nothing says “good place to buy a car” like grown men putting bunches of balloons everywhere…”

Okay, so I may have let my personal hatred of balloons get the better of me there at the end, but you get the idea.  Now I’m guessing that these “Boss” and “Lackey” types aren’t too common in most of your stores.  If you are a member of DrivingSales you are closer to the cutting edge and probably beyond this type of nonsense.  (Although substitute Facebook page for newspaper in the above example and think about it again just to be sure…)

So what can we do to make our big sale a success without yelling louder or dropping the price more?

Have a REASON to have the sale.

Your customers (or potential customers) aren’t stupid.  (Well most of them…)  They know you can’t possibly have the lowest prices in history, every week, on everything, all of the time.  Eventually your vehicles would all have to be free.  They also know that most of the time when they PAY less, you make less, and you aren’t super motivated to make less money.  Because the customer knows this, they will usually just tune out your attempts at advertising, putting up imaginary “air quotes” every time you use the word SALE. 

However, if you can come up with a reason to be having a sale (a real reason, not something made up) or a story behind why you are having a sale, you automatically improve the customer’s ability to believe you are actually having a sale.  And just like when you are face to face with them on the lot, they have to BELIEVE you before they will buy.

For example, have you ever sold out of a few colors of vehicles and ended up with a checkerboard looking lot of black and white?  Instead of getting grumpy about it and trying to make it look like you’ve got some color out there, why not advertise it?  Have a make some room for color sale, special deals on black or white vehicles.  Customers can drive by and see the mess on your lot, so they are more likely to believe it.

Now before you ask, yes the above example may be excluding people looking for a vehicle that isn’t black or white.  But when you try to advertise to everybody, you end up getting nobody.  Wouldn’t it be better to have 10 prospects that want one of those vehicles show up on your lot, rather than have 100 people see or hear your ad and ignore it?

Plus, it gives you the opportunity to tell a story, people like stories so they will pay attention.  What are some other reasons you can think of to have a sale?

Does this sound familiar?

Boss: “Okay, so we have to generate some floor traffic, let’s advertise a big sale…”

Lackey: “Good idea boss, but how are we going to make it work?  When we did that last week we didn’t get much traffic.”

 Boss: “That’s because the guys down the street had a big sale last week.”

Lackey: “I think they have one this week too…”

Boss: “But this week we’ll use louder voices in our radio spots, and bigger starbursts in the newspaper…”

Lackey: “What if they put balloons on the cars?”

Boss: “We’ll use MORE balloons, BIGGER balloons!  Nothing says “good place to buy a car” like grown men putting bunches of balloons everywhere…”

Okay, so I may have let my personal hatred of balloons get the better of me there at the end, but you get the idea.  Now I’m guessing that these “Boss” and “Lackey” types aren’t too common in most of your stores.  If you are a member of DrivingSales you are closer to the cutting edge and probably beyond this type of nonsense.  (Although substitute Facebook page for newspaper in the above example and think about it again just to be sure…)

So what can we do to make our big sale a success without yelling louder or dropping the price more?

Have a REASON to have the sale.

Your customers (or potential customers) aren’t stupid.  (Well most of them…)  They know you can’t possibly have the lowest prices in history, every week, on everything, all of the time.  Eventually your vehicles would all have to be free.  They also know that most of the time when they PAY less, you make less, and you aren’t super motivated to make less money.  Because the customer knows this, they will usually just tune out your attempts at advertising, putting up imaginary “air quotes” every time you use the word SALE. 

However, if you can come up with a reason to be having a sale (a real reason, not something made up) or a story behind why you are having a sale, you automatically improve the customer’s ability to believe you are actually having a sale.  And just like when you are face to face with them on the lot, they have to BELIEVE you before they will buy.

For example, have you ever sold out of a few colors of vehicles and ended up with a checkerboard looking lot of black and white?  Instead of getting grumpy about it and trying to make it look like you’ve got some color out there, why not advertise it?  Have a make some room for color sale, special deals on black or white vehicles.  Customers can drive by and see the mess on your lot, so they are more likely to believe it.

Now before you ask, yes the above example may be excluding people looking for a vehicle that isn’t black or white.  But when you try to advertise to everybody, you end up getting nobody.  Wouldn’t it be better to have 10 prospects that want one of those vehicles show up on your lot, rather than have 100 people see or hear your ad and ignore it?

Plus, it gives you the opportunity to tell a story, people like stories so they will pay attention.  What are some other reasons you can think of to have a sale?

Not a day goes by where I don't see (or hear) a lot of discussion about the effectiveness of different advertising methods.

Which websites are the best for delivering traffic?

Do I need to be on Auto Trader, Craigslist or Kijiji?

Does radio still work?

Am I optimized for mobile searches?

Am I using QR codes effectively?

Does anyone read the newspaper anymore?

What the hell is a QR code again?

And so on...

While this debate carries on, many dealers jump from bandwagon to bandwagon, trying to be on the “cutting edge”, afraid to miss out on the next big thing... After all, you don't want to be left in the dark ages while your competition gobbles up your market share do you? Of course not, that's a scary thought. (Which is why the nice person selling the advertising to you doesn't forget to ask the question...)

So, we are going to answer a question right here and now which will free you from getting sucked into this debate in the future.

Where do I need to be advertising?

The quick answer is it really doesn't matter WHERE you advertise as much as it matters WHAT you advertise. The method is a distant second to the message. (Although anything you're doing in the area of braille advertising is probably a waste of money...)

Now before you discredit everything I'm saying, yes of course a site where people are actively searching for a new vehicle has a more targeted audience so it's a better place to advertise (if you're doing it properly). But, if your ad on those sites is simply your logo with no attention grabbing headline, call to action, or any of the other requirements of an effective ad, you are losing money. Even if you currently have a positive ROI, the missed opportunity should keep you awake at night.

Think about it. Whether you produce a multimillion dollar Superbowl ad, or scribble graffiti on a mens room wall, it's going to be seen by someone who owns a vehicle, and will get another one some day. Actually I can guarantee that I would sell more vehicles with the mens room graffiti than the Superbowl ad. (And with an infinitely better ROI)

So the next time someone is selling you on the next big thing in advertising, don't make your decision based on fear of being left behind. Think about who will be seeing this ad and if you can get a message in front of them that will get their attention and engage them enough to contact you. If it fits, use it. If it doesn't fit, don't worry... Your competition probably won't use it effectively either, you aren't missing anything.

Not a day goes by where I don't see (or hear) a lot of discussion about the effectiveness of different advertising methods.

Which websites are the best for delivering traffic?

Do I need to be on Auto Trader, Craigslist or Kijiji?

Does radio still work?

Am I optimized for mobile searches?

Am I using QR codes effectively?

Does anyone read the newspaper anymore?

What the hell is a QR code again?

And so on...

While this debate carries on, many dealers jump from bandwagon to bandwagon, trying to be on the “cutting edge”, afraid to miss out on the next big thing... After all, you don't want to be left in the dark ages while your competition gobbles up your market share do you? Of course not, that's a scary thought. (Which is why the nice person selling the advertising to you doesn't forget to ask the question...)

So, we are going to answer a question right here and now which will free you from getting sucked into this debate in the future.

Where do I need to be advertising?

The quick answer is it really doesn't matter WHERE you advertise as much as it matters WHAT you advertise. The method is a distant second to the message. (Although anything you're doing in the area of braille advertising is probably a waste of money...)

Now before you discredit everything I'm saying, yes of course a site where people are actively searching for a new vehicle has a more targeted audience so it's a better place to advertise (if you're doing it properly). But, if your ad on those sites is simply your logo with no attention grabbing headline, call to action, or any of the other requirements of an effective ad, you are losing money. Even if you currently have a positive ROI, the missed opportunity should keep you awake at night.

Think about it. Whether you produce a multimillion dollar Superbowl ad, or scribble graffiti on a mens room wall, it's going to be seen by someone who owns a vehicle, and will get another one some day. Actually I can guarantee that I would sell more vehicles with the mens room graffiti than the Superbowl ad. (And with an infinitely better ROI)

So the next time someone is selling you on the next big thing in advertising, don't make your decision based on fear of being left behind. Think about who will be seeing this ad and if you can get a message in front of them that will get their attention and engage them enough to contact you. If it fits, use it. If it doesn't fit, don't worry... Your competition probably won't use it effectively either, you aren't missing anything.