Volkswagen of Downtown Los Angeles
Stan, Your Biggest Fan
Many of you are aware of the Automotive SEO Study conducted by PCG Digital Marketing. If not, it's a place where SEO Animals are being born. I'm one of the hopeful animals. Like many others in the study, I'm still responsible for my day-to-day work, including selling cars. Often on test drives, I'm thinking about the study. I'm anxious to wrap up the deal so I can get a few more PR pieces in, because I want my keyword tracking spreadsheet to progress in big ways. I find myself thinking, "Hey, what about my parts keywords? That's low-hanging fruit and I better get after it."
Those are the types of things an animal will do. That's animal stuff. Animals will sooner or later figure out that they didn't update their meta tags and their work is suffering as a result.
Trying to be a good dealer contact, I didn't want to burden my website rep with a question that I can research online – so I went through their training videos. Someone took the time to make these videos. I should check them out, right?
But I see no mention of meta tags. It's like they don't care about them.
An animal's "Step 2" would be to log into the animal kingdom discussion board and hit up his animal friends. I go to the discussion board to find all the other animals who use the same website provider.
Like fellow animals, they tell me meta tag tools do exist. They even provide screenshots with arrows pointing to the "Meta Tags" button. They go all out to help.
Interestingly enough, I don't have such a button.
I finally call my rep. Instead of telling me why or how, he wants to know why I want to know – as if I shouldn't be asking. I explain. He tells me we have a SEO package with them, and they'll help me. I just need to put it in writing. I don't have time, but I do it anyway. I do it right away.
I give an overview and outline some specifics like the fact that some of our meta tags are misspelled. Until the animals told me we were paying, it never occurred to me we would pay for this SEO work. It wasn't nearly as detailed, in-depth, and comprehensive as what we were learning to do in PCG's study. The animals said they're probably billing me $500 for this SEO work. Again, the animals knew and volunteered this information, and they aren't even using the service. They are just dialed in to their vendor.
I asked our rep at the vendor, and he didn't know. He said he'd have to check the contract. I tell him forget the contract; it's not a service we need right now. He says he'll see what he can do and get back to me. This seems great – they'll come up with some alternatives. I hear nothing back for four days. I reach out for a status. The rep tells me we have a contract, at $599 a month, and we can't get out of it.
I would have expected an offer of a transfer of services – moving SEO contract work from the store I'm animalizing to our other, non-animalized store. After all, I'd been trying to convince the powers that be to switch from another CRM provider to my rep's solution since I started almost two months ago (the first week of the study).
The previous day, the vendor told me I couldn't have a license to demo the CRM service to everyone else for buy-off. I found out on my own (not from my rep) that our GM did have a license for their CRM demo. He hadn't logged in since May! I was excited and emailed my rep to say I may have found a way to help get some buy-off. I'm confident that if I can show everyone, they'll agree it's a better CRM.
He said he couldn't switch it for me – the GM would have to log in and do it. I go to work the next day, interrupt the GM, help him log in, and the system says he's not authorized. Strange – it's the same message I got.
I call my rep. He sighs and says he'll grant me a license. No explanation. Just a sigh. I feel like telling him I'm trying to help him. I wonder why I'm being treated this way.
I remember that when I went to their site to find training videos (when I was baffled regarding meta tag changes), I also read they have an organic coffee bar for their employees, a full gym, and a state-of-the-art ping pong table. I have none of that. Even our voice mail system broke some time ago and was never repaired. I'm stealing the wi-fi connection from a dentist office next door. We finally got coffee just last month and it tastes like tar, but I'm growing accustomed to it. We're happy to have it. When it rained yesterday, it leaked through the ceiling, dripped onto my desk, and got my laptop wet while I was with the GM trying to get the license transferred. Since it was my first rainy day of working there, I hadn't expected it. Now it makes sense why the tile above me is missing. No damage though; all is good.
So I'm not sure why I'm getting the sighs from my rep. My paycheck wasn't even on time. After he gets off the phone with me, he can cruise to the organic coffee bar. No one's stealing deals from him, and no unexpected people arrive to his door for a car sitting 20 minutes away in a storage lot.
When the rep tells me how they won't help me, how they don't think it's unreasonable to take a few days to get back to me on my SEO requests, how I should put requests in writing (though, still nearly two weeks later, they haven't made my changes because apparently they don't agree with them), how they won't let us out of the contract or make any adjustments to it, I was beyond frustrated. They won't even let me access the button to adjust meta tags myself. Because adjustments I make could "interfere with the important and daily SEO work" they do.
I explain that I went from being their biggest fan to someone who will do his best to make sure no one else makes the mistake of signing up with them. I could suddenly relate to the Eminem song about Stan, Eminem's biggest fan. In the song, due to no response from Eminem, Stan becomes increasingly agitated in his fan letters.
But worse than feeling like Stan are the words my rep had for me. They've stuck inside ever since I heard them, and I may not ever forget them. My rep said to me, in a sort of tight-lipped way, "I don't know why you're being so difficult."
I don't recall anyone saying anything like that to me in my entire career – not once in my eight years in the software industry or six years in the auto industry. If I had to honestly answer why I'm being "difficult," it's because I'm frustrated and confused in dealing with this vendor. It's difficult dealing with something or someone that does not respond to you, listen to you, or help you. It's even more difficult dealing with an entity that seems concerned only with keeping its contract. Perhaps that's not the worst of it. Perhaps the worst part is that I used to believe in them.
I used to be like Stan, their biggest fan.
Volkswagen of Downtown Los Angeles
Stan, Your Biggest Fan
Many of you are aware of the Automotive SEO Study conducted by PCG Digital Marketing. If not, it's a place where SEO Animals are being born. I'm one of the hopeful animals. Like many others in the study, I'm still responsible for my day-to-day work, including selling cars. Often on test drives, I'm thinking about the study. I'm anxious to wrap up the deal so I can get a few more PR pieces in, because I want my keyword tracking spreadsheet to progress in big ways. I find myself thinking, "Hey, what about my parts keywords? That's low-hanging fruit and I better get after it."
Those are the types of things an animal will do. That's animal stuff. Animals will sooner or later figure out that they didn't update their meta tags and their work is suffering as a result.
Trying to be a good dealer contact, I didn't want to burden my website rep with a question that I can research online – so I went through their training videos. Someone took the time to make these videos. I should check them out, right?
But I see no mention of meta tags. It's like they don't care about them.
An animal's "Step 2" would be to log into the animal kingdom discussion board and hit up his animal friends. I go to the discussion board to find all the other animals who use the same website provider.
Like fellow animals, they tell me meta tag tools do exist. They even provide screenshots with arrows pointing to the "Meta Tags" button. They go all out to help.
Interestingly enough, I don't have such a button.
I finally call my rep. Instead of telling me why or how, he wants to know why I want to know – as if I shouldn't be asking. I explain. He tells me we have a SEO package with them, and they'll help me. I just need to put it in writing. I don't have time, but I do it anyway. I do it right away.
I give an overview and outline some specifics like the fact that some of our meta tags are misspelled. Until the animals told me we were paying, it never occurred to me we would pay for this SEO work. It wasn't nearly as detailed, in-depth, and comprehensive as what we were learning to do in PCG's study. The animals said they're probably billing me $500 for this SEO work. Again, the animals knew and volunteered this information, and they aren't even using the service. They are just dialed in to their vendor.
I asked our rep at the vendor, and he didn't know. He said he'd have to check the contract. I tell him forget the contract; it's not a service we need right now. He says he'll see what he can do and get back to me. This seems great – they'll come up with some alternatives. I hear nothing back for four days. I reach out for a status. The rep tells me we have a contract, at $599 a month, and we can't get out of it.
I would have expected an offer of a transfer of services – moving SEO contract work from the store I'm animalizing to our other, non-animalized store. After all, I'd been trying to convince the powers that be to switch from another CRM provider to my rep's solution since I started almost two months ago (the first week of the study).
The previous day, the vendor told me I couldn't have a license to demo the CRM service to everyone else for buy-off. I found out on my own (not from my rep) that our GM did have a license for their CRM demo. He hadn't logged in since May! I was excited and emailed my rep to say I may have found a way to help get some buy-off. I'm confident that if I can show everyone, they'll agree it's a better CRM.
He said he couldn't switch it for me – the GM would have to log in and do it. I go to work the next day, interrupt the GM, help him log in, and the system says he's not authorized. Strange – it's the same message I got.
I call my rep. He sighs and says he'll grant me a license. No explanation. Just a sigh. I feel like telling him I'm trying to help him. I wonder why I'm being treated this way.
I remember that when I went to their site to find training videos (when I was baffled regarding meta tag changes), I also read they have an organic coffee bar for their employees, a full gym, and a state-of-the-art ping pong table. I have none of that. Even our voice mail system broke some time ago and was never repaired. I'm stealing the wi-fi connection from a dentist office next door. We finally got coffee just last month and it tastes like tar, but I'm growing accustomed to it. We're happy to have it. When it rained yesterday, it leaked through the ceiling, dripped onto my desk, and got my laptop wet while I was with the GM trying to get the license transferred. Since it was my first rainy day of working there, I hadn't expected it. Now it makes sense why the tile above me is missing. No damage though; all is good.
So I'm not sure why I'm getting the sighs from my rep. My paycheck wasn't even on time. After he gets off the phone with me, he can cruise to the organic coffee bar. No one's stealing deals from him, and no unexpected people arrive to his door for a car sitting 20 minutes away in a storage lot.
When the rep tells me how they won't help me, how they don't think it's unreasonable to take a few days to get back to me on my SEO requests, how I should put requests in writing (though, still nearly two weeks later, they haven't made my changes because apparently they don't agree with them), how they won't let us out of the contract or make any adjustments to it, I was beyond frustrated. They won't even let me access the button to adjust meta tags myself. Because adjustments I make could "interfere with the important and daily SEO work" they do.
I explain that I went from being their biggest fan to someone who will do his best to make sure no one else makes the mistake of signing up with them. I could suddenly relate to the Eminem song about Stan, Eminem's biggest fan. In the song, due to no response from Eminem, Stan becomes increasingly agitated in his fan letters.
But worse than feeling like Stan are the words my rep had for me. They've stuck inside ever since I heard them, and I may not ever forget them. My rep said to me, in a sort of tight-lipped way, "I don't know why you're being so difficult."
I don't recall anyone saying anything like that to me in my entire career – not once in my eight years in the software industry or six years in the auto industry. If I had to honestly answer why I'm being "difficult," it's because I'm frustrated and confused in dealing with this vendor. It's difficult dealing with something or someone that does not respond to you, listen to you, or help you. It's even more difficult dealing with an entity that seems concerned only with keeping its contract. Perhaps that's not the worst of it. Perhaps the worst part is that I used to believe in them.
I used to be like Stan, their biggest fan.
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Volkswagen of Downtown Los Angeles
The other morning I was walking my dogs. I live on the main street right below the Hollywood sign. If you’re a tourist and you’re looking for a picture of the Hollywood sign you always end up on my street because it looks like it drives right into it. Okay, enough details. Back to my walk. A car slowly slides up next to me. It’s a very thick June gloom morning. The fellow rolls down his window and like most tourists they always ask me how can they actually get to the sign for which there is no easy answer as it’s a twisty maze of narrow streets with signs that seem purposely hidden so I usually tell them there is no way but this fellow wasn’t asking how to get to the sign. He was asking me if he was even close to the sign. I asked him to repeat himself and he asked me if the sign was even close to where he was. In my mind I’m thinking that’s an insane question because it’s in massive letters right before him about 500 yards straight out his windshield. I look and that’s when I notice the fog is so thick that you can’t make out the sign. Through the fog I can make out the outline or at least I think I can as I’m sure it’s there but this fellow has no idea if he’s even in the right neighborhood or pointing the right way. I tell him it’s straight ahead and he looks ahead and at me again. I tell him to trust me that the sign is right in front of him. He mumbles something to himself about me being an unhelpful asshole and drives off into the fog making a sharp left hand turn.
I think to myself this will rank with the great allegory’s of all time. It had all the right ingredients. What story could better sum up the added difficulty we throw on ourselves for not trusting in someone who knows better. Not only refusing to believe the person for your own good but taking it one step further believing he is attempting to cause you some harm because you can’t see what he knows to be true.
That was 2 weeks ago and I’m still waiting for the dinner party or company meeting where I’m able to communicate my new witty story. My new allegory. In my mind I’m already ranking my Allegory to rival Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. So great perhaps they’ll just banish his unnecessary allegory and replace it with mine. T-shirts ought to be printed depicting my new allegory. Fog machine sales will hit all time highs. Teachers are giving demos to students. Students are giving demos to other people. Strangers in bathrooms begin to discuss the dynamics of the foggy allegory. Oh yes, surely the foggy allegory will be credited 500-years from now for giving birth to a new renaissance. A new period of enlightenment.
Oh but surely I think to myself the foggy allegory can’t be all that unique. It must exist in other forms but I am too lazy to research allegory’s. The Lakers will be on in an hour. I was supposed to go back to an interview today which made me re-live this whole allegory scene in the first place. You see, what happened was last night an old friend asked me to stop by a dealership he started working at. I hadn’t seen him in a few years and thought it would be nice to see him. Before I know it he’s insisting that I come aboard. That I meet with the GM. That I’m exactly what they need. A real internet person. I try to get details and the only details I get are standard. Sounds like a standard position where they want someone who is good online and on the phone to respond to inquiries and make deals. Surely I am exceptional at this but it had been a few years and my old friend seems to not have accounted for that during the last 4 years I’ve grown to slightly more of a managerial role. I feel that I have more value passing on what I know rather than just doing it. My friend insisted that I come back today and meet with the GM and see the pay plan and get a drug test, and to come back dressed to the nines etc... Keep in mind I already have a job. So last night I figure maybe it’s a good idea to learn more about this dealership and so I begin to research them and their competitors and collect data and create a sales strategy complete with action items to take them from what I can tell is one of the lower performing dealers of their brand in Los Angeles to a top 3 performer. I even intended to do this by eliminating all 3rd party leads and kept budgetary constrictions in mind by simply imagining there was no budget. I even documented exact key word phrase alterations for their website to improve their rankings. I had data that showed they weren’t a google local result for a majority of Los Angeles because their site was indexed so poorly. I even had a reputation report. I missed nothing. Even noting how there was no wifi network (which I checked while I was there after checking in on Foursqure). I noticed a dealer next door had listed as a tip for the area that they have free wifi and coffee and even though I’m sitting there with my old friend I’m considering going to that dealership instead so last night I even considered taking it upon myself to create “nearby specials” on behalf of this dealer. So today being my day off I go to the gym, I walk the dogs on what was a another foggy morning and I eventually shower and remembered my friend said something about the nines so I put on my suit. I walk into my dining room and grabbed my ipad with the massive sales document I typed the night before and my keys and then just froze.
These people are going to think I’m an absolute maniac.
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Volkswagen of Downtown Los Angeles
The other morning I was walking my dogs. I live on the main street right below the Hollywood sign. If you’re a tourist and you’re looking for a picture of the Hollywood sign you always end up on my street because it looks like it drives right into it. Okay, enough details. Back to my walk. A car slowly slides up next to me. It’s a very thick June gloom morning. The fellow rolls down his window and like most tourists they always ask me how can they actually get to the sign for which there is no easy answer as it’s a twisty maze of narrow streets with signs that seem purposely hidden so I usually tell them there is no way but this fellow wasn’t asking how to get to the sign. He was asking me if he was even close to the sign. I asked him to repeat himself and he asked me if the sign was even close to where he was. In my mind I’m thinking that’s an insane question because it’s in massive letters right before him about 500 yards straight out his windshield. I look and that’s when I notice the fog is so thick that you can’t make out the sign. Through the fog I can make out the outline or at least I think I can as I’m sure it’s there but this fellow has no idea if he’s even in the right neighborhood or pointing the right way. I tell him it’s straight ahead and he looks ahead and at me again. I tell him to trust me that the sign is right in front of him. He mumbles something to himself about me being an unhelpful asshole and drives off into the fog making a sharp left hand turn.
I think to myself this will rank with the great allegory’s of all time. It had all the right ingredients. What story could better sum up the added difficulty we throw on ourselves for not trusting in someone who knows better. Not only refusing to believe the person for your own good but taking it one step further believing he is attempting to cause you some harm because you can’t see what he knows to be true.
That was 2 weeks ago and I’m still waiting for the dinner party or company meeting where I’m able to communicate my new witty story. My new allegory. In my mind I’m already ranking my Allegory to rival Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. So great perhaps they’ll just banish his unnecessary allegory and replace it with mine. T-shirts ought to be printed depicting my new allegory. Fog machine sales will hit all time highs. Teachers are giving demos to students. Students are giving demos to other people. Strangers in bathrooms begin to discuss the dynamics of the foggy allegory. Oh yes, surely the foggy allegory will be credited 500-years from now for giving birth to a new renaissance. A new period of enlightenment.
Oh but surely I think to myself the foggy allegory can’t be all that unique. It must exist in other forms but I am too lazy to research allegory’s. The Lakers will be on in an hour. I was supposed to go back to an interview today which made me re-live this whole allegory scene in the first place. You see, what happened was last night an old friend asked me to stop by a dealership he started working at. I hadn’t seen him in a few years and thought it would be nice to see him. Before I know it he’s insisting that I come aboard. That I meet with the GM. That I’m exactly what they need. A real internet person. I try to get details and the only details I get are standard. Sounds like a standard position where they want someone who is good online and on the phone to respond to inquiries and make deals. Surely I am exceptional at this but it had been a few years and my old friend seems to not have accounted for that during the last 4 years I’ve grown to slightly more of a managerial role. I feel that I have more value passing on what I know rather than just doing it. My friend insisted that I come back today and meet with the GM and see the pay plan and get a drug test, and to come back dressed to the nines etc... Keep in mind I already have a job. So last night I figure maybe it’s a good idea to learn more about this dealership and so I begin to research them and their competitors and collect data and create a sales strategy complete with action items to take them from what I can tell is one of the lower performing dealers of their brand in Los Angeles to a top 3 performer. I even intended to do this by eliminating all 3rd party leads and kept budgetary constrictions in mind by simply imagining there was no budget. I even documented exact key word phrase alterations for their website to improve their rankings. I had data that showed they weren’t a google local result for a majority of Los Angeles because their site was indexed so poorly. I even had a reputation report. I missed nothing. Even noting how there was no wifi network (which I checked while I was there after checking in on Foursqure). I noticed a dealer next door had listed as a tip for the area that they have free wifi and coffee and even though I’m sitting there with my old friend I’m considering going to that dealership instead so last night I even considered taking it upon myself to create “nearby specials” on behalf of this dealer. So today being my day off I go to the gym, I walk the dogs on what was a another foggy morning and I eventually shower and remembered my friend said something about the nines so I put on my suit. I walk into my dining room and grabbed my ipad with the massive sales document I typed the night before and my keys and then just froze.
These people are going to think I’m an absolute maniac.
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Volkswagen of Downtown Los Angeles
“Hey, did you see that review?” The question moved about he showroom and through offices and even leaped over different departments and surely must have slipped and slithered itself through the rafters and cooling ducts to the owners office. It wasn’t finished until every last person heard it and read the review. Once the review was read it seemed to make everyone feel compelled to provide their idea of what should be done about it. Managers, Finance Guys, Salesman, and a guy who supposed to be a Porter came up to me with deep concern and heavy tones as if speaking softer about the event would somehow make it go away. The questions and statements revolved around asking me to have the review removed. Asking me to respond to the reviewer. Asking me to petition Yelp for removal. And to somehow inform the internet of all the things we did right on this deal. As if the internet were waiting with the great anticipation for the truth to finally come out on this deal. I don’t know how aside from me being the internet guy I got dragged into this mess. There had been plenty of reviews before this one and even a few bad ones but I don’t know what it was that made everyone so upset about this particular review. Was it because she named names? Was it because she was some Yelp Elite Squad User? Was it because she had pointed out some weaknesses? Was it because she had dragged the size of our water machine cups into it? Of all things to drag into the mud why our poor little plastic drinking cups? Maybe the drinking cups were taking cost savings a little too far. Maybe she had a point. Maybe she had a point about a few things.
I don’t remember much about her except seeing this angry faced person walking back and forth past my office window a few times. She looked more like a prison guard pacing back and forth in front of my cell. Even worse was this prison guard seemed to be having a really bad day and you could tell by her tight lips, red face, and icy stare that someone laid the hammer down on her and she was gonna lay it back down on someone else. This was not the look of a happy or thoughtful person. If I had a cell mate I certainly would not rape him in front of this guard today for fear she would catch me and rape two times as bad and cut me off from food for a week and then inflict some strange torture technique from the dark ages on me. I stayed low in my office as I usually do responding to leads, making calls, wondering how many more days I must go on tucking in my shirt, looking for missing keys, and begging for weekend bonuses.
In regards to what had transpired so far I’ve gathered the following. The car was priced very well online but wasn’t ready for the front line yet as it required a dent removal and detail. The customer called about this car and was misinformed by the salesman regarding if it still had some manufacturers warranty on it. The customer asked questions regarding the Carfax and the salesman responded with incorrect information having not read the Carfax before answering the question(s). In retrospect surely this salesperson would admit he should have told the customer he’d call her back after getting the details together for her but her review cleaned his clock as if he were personally responsible for buying the car at auction, every owner that ever driven it, every mile it was ever driven, and why service hadn’t yet made it front line ready, why his manager doesn’t give him the password to our Carfax account, why the owner hadn’t upgraded our facilities, why our Finance manager is slow to fax or according to the customer couldn’t figure out how to fax, or why he hadn’t personally beat down the service manager for allowing it to be in the sales lot before it was ready so that we wouldn’t have caused her any unnecessary trips to look at it and of course we already know he was linked to the size of our drinking cups but it didn’t end there as he had somehow even managed to get himself implicated in setting humanity and woman's rights in particular back a good 50-years.
Basically the customer came in under the premise that the car was perfect and was still under warranty which was not the case. The deal should have ended there but it kept going on and the piecing together it from that point forward was a downward spiral of multiple customer visits involving multiple salespersons and managers and a customer who wanted this car to be everything she envisioned it to be when in reality the car that was everything she wanted it to be was overlooked by her because of its price and is probably still sitting on AutoTrader or Craigslist or crashed by a salesman with a Vicodin addiction who took it to get lunch.
In the end nothing much has changed. Sure the salesperson always calls back the customer if they ask details, the service department created a line and duct taped a piece of cardboard to the ground that has an arrow indicting sales and service to help clear up any lot confusion. The drinking cups got an upgrade and are 1 size larger now. But sooner or later a person in the business office will again order the cheaper cups, the cardboard sign duct taped to the ground will wash out in the rain, this salesperson or another salesperson will cut a corner. Customers will come to look and re-look at a car multiple times and deal with multiple salespersons and managers all of which will try to say things to make the deal and this customer will pass and bring them all up to an entirely different salesperson and manager on a different day. We will receive more reviews. We will pat ourselves on the back when they are good and take our due credit in meetings or print copies complete with yellow highlights where it talks about our own name leave them on the GM’s desk. And when they’re bad or there’s an angry faced person pacing the showroom (or service drive) we hide and then point fingers and talk about the mistakes other people made.
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Volkswagen of Downtown Los Angeles
“Hey, did you see that review?” The question moved about he showroom and through offices and even leaped over different departments and surely must have slipped and slithered itself through the rafters and cooling ducts to the owners office. It wasn’t finished until every last person heard it and read the review. Once the review was read it seemed to make everyone feel compelled to provide their idea of what should be done about it. Managers, Finance Guys, Salesman, and a guy who supposed to be a Porter came up to me with deep concern and heavy tones as if speaking softer about the event would somehow make it go away. The questions and statements revolved around asking me to have the review removed. Asking me to respond to the reviewer. Asking me to petition Yelp for removal. And to somehow inform the internet of all the things we did right on this deal. As if the internet were waiting with the great anticipation for the truth to finally come out on this deal. I don’t know how aside from me being the internet guy I got dragged into this mess. There had been plenty of reviews before this one and even a few bad ones but I don’t know what it was that made everyone so upset about this particular review. Was it because she named names? Was it because she was some Yelp Elite Squad User? Was it because she had pointed out some weaknesses? Was it because she had dragged the size of our water machine cups into it? Of all things to drag into the mud why our poor little plastic drinking cups? Maybe the drinking cups were taking cost savings a little too far. Maybe she had a point. Maybe she had a point about a few things.
I don’t remember much about her except seeing this angry faced person walking back and forth past my office window a few times. She looked more like a prison guard pacing back and forth in front of my cell. Even worse was this prison guard seemed to be having a really bad day and you could tell by her tight lips, red face, and icy stare that someone laid the hammer down on her and she was gonna lay it back down on someone else. This was not the look of a happy or thoughtful person. If I had a cell mate I certainly would not rape him in front of this guard today for fear she would catch me and rape two times as bad and cut me off from food for a week and then inflict some strange torture technique from the dark ages on me. I stayed low in my office as I usually do responding to leads, making calls, wondering how many more days I must go on tucking in my shirt, looking for missing keys, and begging for weekend bonuses.
In regards to what had transpired so far I’ve gathered the following. The car was priced very well online but wasn’t ready for the front line yet as it required a dent removal and detail. The customer called about this car and was misinformed by the salesman regarding if it still had some manufacturers warranty on it. The customer asked questions regarding the Carfax and the salesman responded with incorrect information having not read the Carfax before answering the question(s). In retrospect surely this salesperson would admit he should have told the customer he’d call her back after getting the details together for her but her review cleaned his clock as if he were personally responsible for buying the car at auction, every owner that ever driven it, every mile it was ever driven, and why service hadn’t yet made it front line ready, why his manager doesn’t give him the password to our Carfax account, why the owner hadn’t upgraded our facilities, why our Finance manager is slow to fax or according to the customer couldn’t figure out how to fax, or why he hadn’t personally beat down the service manager for allowing it to be in the sales lot before it was ready so that we wouldn’t have caused her any unnecessary trips to look at it and of course we already know he was linked to the size of our drinking cups but it didn’t end there as he had somehow even managed to get himself implicated in setting humanity and woman's rights in particular back a good 50-years.
Basically the customer came in under the premise that the car was perfect and was still under warranty which was not the case. The deal should have ended there but it kept going on and the piecing together it from that point forward was a downward spiral of multiple customer visits involving multiple salespersons and managers and a customer who wanted this car to be everything she envisioned it to be when in reality the car that was everything she wanted it to be was overlooked by her because of its price and is probably still sitting on AutoTrader or Craigslist or crashed by a salesman with a Vicodin addiction who took it to get lunch.
In the end nothing much has changed. Sure the salesperson always calls back the customer if they ask details, the service department created a line and duct taped a piece of cardboard to the ground that has an arrow indicting sales and service to help clear up any lot confusion. The drinking cups got an upgrade and are 1 size larger now. But sooner or later a person in the business office will again order the cheaper cups, the cardboard sign duct taped to the ground will wash out in the rain, this salesperson or another salesperson will cut a corner. Customers will come to look and re-look at a car multiple times and deal with multiple salespersons and managers all of which will try to say things to make the deal and this customer will pass and bring them all up to an entirely different salesperson and manager on a different day. We will receive more reviews. We will pat ourselves on the back when they are good and take our due credit in meetings or print copies complete with yellow highlights where it talks about our own name leave them on the GM’s desk. And when they’re bad or there’s an angry faced person pacing the showroom (or service drive) we hide and then point fingers and talk about the mistakes other people made.
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