Ineffective communication is consistently one of the top concerns of businesses.  Most of us know this on a surface level but I believe that because it’s a difficult measurement, we don’t take it as seriously as we need to be. Think about it; there’s a lack of direction, teamwork suffers, wrongful assumptions happen, conflicts arise, and chaos typically ensues.

Effective communication is the foundation in every area of our organization.  It’s the ability to deliver, receive and understand what the message is that’s being communicated. This requires developing the skill of being focused, asking high-quality questions, active listening and understanding how to use tonality and body language to support the words we are saying. It also requires the ability to be open-minded enough to receive the information in the message that’s being delivered which we’ll get into shortly.

In a coaching and mentor relationship, which we are constantly in, open and effective communication is an absolute must.  One of the key lessons I learned through Performance Coaching is the power of active listening.

What is active listening? 

It’s the ability to focus completely on what the other person is saying and is also not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of their desires, and to support them. It’s about removing judgement, ego, and genuinely caring about what is being said from the person(s). 

There are 8 Key areas of active listening;

1. 1. Attend to the other person(s) agenda and not your own
2. 2. Hear the concerns, goals, values, and beliefs about what is and isn’t possible
3. 3. Distinguish between the words, tonality, and body language
4. 4. Summarize, paraphrase, reiterate and mirror back what is being said to ensure clarity and understanding. This is also a phenomenal negotiating skill
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6. 5. Encourages, accepts, explores, and reinforces the other person(s) expression of feelings, perceptions, concerns, beliefs, suggestions, etc.
7. 6. Integrates and builds on the other person(s) ideas and suggestions
8. 7. Understands the essence of the other person(s) communication and helps them get there rather than engaging in long, descriptive stories
9. 8. Allows the other person(s) to clear the situation without judgment or attachment in order to move on to the next steps

Here are multiple ways to NOT listen effectively;

• - Interrupting or speaking as soon as they finish a sentence
• - Speaking before they can finish the last few words of a sentence
• - Attending superficially; missing signals in client’s tone or body language
• - Breaking eye contact or doodling during a face-to-face session
• Multitasking
• - Place your personal values, beliefs or perceptions on your clients instead of listening to theirs
• - Only listen for pain points and problems
• - Bringing your own personal feelings from a separate event into this current one

There are 3 different levels to active listening starting with the least effective to the most effective... 

Level 1 is Internal Listening which means that our focus is on ourselves, our own thoughts, feelings, conclusions, and beliefs.

Level 2 is Focused Listening where all of the focus is on the client and everything that is creating their experience. Everything that is sent your way is perfectly reflected back to them.  Listen as if there is a wired connection between you and them. Use empathy, clarification and collaboration.

Level 3 is Global Listening where all of our focus is on the experience our team member is having with everything including your response, their feelings, and everything in between. We listen to everything that we’re receiving (like a radio antenna). We are connected to our intuition and receiving information that is not always observable. 

The more we can develop our active listening skills, the better leaders we will become. One of the best ways to draw out high-quality answers from our team is by asking them high-quality questions. This will save quite a bit of time in our conversations because we'll be able to get to the core of the message the other person(s) is presenting.

Asking High-Quality Questions

For clarity purposes, there aren’t a secret set of core questions that I’ve come across which will work magic for us.  In my opinion, good quality questions derive from being genuinely curious in what the other person is saying.  The more engaged we are in the conversation and the better we leverage active listening, that’s when the high-quality questions will arise. 

Having said that, it does help immensely to go into conversations with confidence in knowing that high-quality questions will come to mind. In order to do that requires preparation.  As we know, preparation breeds confidence. 

The best leaders that I’ve met and studied, have the ability to ask high-quality questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the relationship between the team member and the leader.

Michael Bungay Stanier wrote a book called “The Coaching Habit” which was specifically written to have quick and powerful coaching sessions with our team members through asking 7 high-quality questions;

1. What's on your mind?

2. And what else?

3. What's the real challenge here for you?

4. What do you want?

5. How can I help?

6. If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?

7. What was most useful for you?

These questions were intentionally designed to cut to the core of what’s going on in about 10 minutes.  Knowing how much we all value time, these are a great set of questions to get familiar with. 

A great resource to pull even more high-quality questions from is “Coaching Questions” by Tony Stoltzfus.  Let’s take a look at what some of those questions look like in different situations and let you discover which ones feel right to you so that you can create your own set of core questions.  

Motivation...

It’s important to link pain to the past or if they remain where they currently are and pleasure with who it is that they’re striving to become.  Future pacing is a powerful strategy to take when developing intrinsic motivation especially. 

- What are the top 3 challenges you face right now?

- What about your top opportunities?

- What is the biggest improvement you’d like to make in your life right now? What would it be worth to you to make that happen?

- What’s motivating you right now - either dissatisfaction with what is or a desire to pursue something in your future?

- What are you passionate about pursuing (achievement), what makes you feel fulfilled in life (purpose), what would you say are your top 3 core values and on a scale of 1 - 10 how aligned are you with them?

Future Pacing...

“Imagine moving out into your future ‘as if’ you were about to handle this situation at your most resourceful self.  How does this change things?”

“Imagine moving out through the rest of today, tomorrow, and the weeks, months and years into the future having access to these resources… will this make a difference?

“When would you like to be able to handle this situation in the future?  Imagine you are there now, but this time you have access to these new ways of thinking and feeling…  How is it now? Where else in your life will this make a difference?

Conversation Starters with Management...

• - What was the best thing that happened this month in your department?
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• - What’s the best thing about working here?
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• - What’s the greatest asset of your team? Your biggest challenge?
• - What’s one thing you need to move your team to the next level that you don’t currently have? How can I help you with this?

Obstacles...

• - What do you believe is stopping you from reaching that objective?
• - What do you need that you don’t currently have to reach this milestone?
• - What resources could you tap into to overcome this obstacle? Or is there a way for you to become more resourceful if you don’t have the resources?
• - How have you overcome obstacles like this in similar situations in the past?

Transformational...

• - When we face great adversity, we are either broken by it, survive it, or it becomes a defining moment. What response would make this a defining moment for you?
• - What could improve about you that would improve your situation?
• - Let’s assume that this situation is custom designed for your inner growth as a leader and a person.  If that’s true, what’s the opportunity here?
• - What fears, doubts or other internal obstacles are keeping you from moving forward? What would it take for those obstacles to be completely gone?
• - If you were the best you can be, operating at your fullest unrealized ability - then what would be possible? 

Accepting what you can’t change...

• - What would need to change in your attitude or response for you to function at your best in the midst of this, even if the circumstances don’t change?
• - If this circumstance is hard to get rid of or is beyond your control, how can you choose to experience it differently?
• - If you can’t change this, how can you make your peace with it?
• - How could this moment become a defining moment for you, where you rise up and engage it out of what you were made to be?

Having a “Go-To” question or set of questions is key to developing your confidence in presenting certain questions in specific situations.  One of my favourites is...

On a scale of one to ten…

• 1. On a scale of 1 - 10 where is your stress level right now?
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• 2. On a scale of 1 - 10 how proud are you of your effort? 
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• 3. On a scale of 1 - 10 where is your energy level?

If it’s anything less than a 10, ask them what must happen to make it a 10.  This is a great way to finish a meeting off when you’re striving to implement real action and accountability between today’s meeting and the next one.

You got this!

Brandin

Photo credit Vantage Circle

Leveraging NLP for Leadership...

Old me as a Manager:

External Event: See someone not working as hard as they could be
Inner Perception: Useless, Lazy
State: Negative, Disappointed
Physiology: Slouched, Angry face
Response: Short
Outcome: Underperformance

New me as a Leader:

Once I started reading, journaling, becoming a better listener, meditating, and developing a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset, everything changed. The external event being the same, I now had the inner perception of the person needing guidance, coaching, and perhaps more purpose behind what they’re doing.  

I was able to reprogram my beliefs and values. 

This improved my state to empowerment because I am able to help this person. My body language went from slouched and angry face to shoulders back, chest out and a lot more smiles. My response went from being short to having a tremendous amount of patience and the outcome was high-performance from the team. 

In what ways are you developing yourself as a leader?

You got this!

Brandin

We don't have to wait for a new year, a holiday, an event, or a Monday morning to start making lasting improvements in our life. Regardless of when you're reading this article, you can implement improvement right now, in this very moment.  If it matters to you that much and it becomes a MUST instead of a "should", then you'll stop being interested in change and instantly become committed to a better version of who you are now.  

Here's a blueprint for making lasting improvements in your life...

Contrary to popular belief, it actually takes 66 days to form a new habit, not 21. In a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, health psychology researcher Phillipa Lally and her team from University College London, proved how long it actually takes to form a habit which is 66 days.

It’s important to start with how a habit is formed so you know how to leverage it to your advantage.  In his massively successful book, Atomic Habits, James Clear points out the 4 stages of a habit loop...

• CUE

  • Be specific about the trigger… When I receive my paycheque, I will pay myself first and put 10% into my “Freedom Fund”.  When my head hits the pillow, I read for 20 minutes. When my feet hit the floor in the morning I will do 20 jumping jacks

• CRAVING

  • Environment plays a huge role… Automate your 10% for your “Freedom Fund” and make it as inconvenient as possible to access but allow yourself to see the growth and power of compound interest. Put your book beside your bed and phone on the charger in the bathroom after brushing your teeth, you'll start becoming more interested in what's next from your book than what's on Instagram. Have your workout clothes on the floor beside your bed so that when you wake up they’re staring at you and challenging you to pick them up to get the day started in an empowering state

• RESPONSE

  • External event that happened… our internal story about the event influences our emotional state, which then affects how we respond. The external event is dictated by our values and beliefs. When we know why we're doing what we're doing, it has a positive influence on our emotional state which then gives us the power to keep moving forward with our progress. When we upgrade our values and beliefs, our perception of the external event improves. For example, if we take money out of our freedom fund to pay for something that's not a need, it could be viewed 2 ways depending on your values and beliefs. It could be that you've convinced yourself it's ok because you've "earned it".  Or it could be that your checking account is your cash and your Freedom Fund is untouchable. If you have $0 in your Reward account, $1,500 in your checking account and $100,000 in your Freedom Fund, you consider yourself broke. 

• REWARD

  • Daily find ways to have small celebrations which could be putting a $1 away into a Reward Account for every $10 that you allocate to your “Freedom Fund” and using that for whatever you want - if your goal is $1,000 then you have $100 to use towards whatever you want, have a piece of dark chocolate after lunch as a treat for working out in the morning, crush some DQ once a week, or do something bigger at the end of 66 days and celebrate by going out for dinner to the nicest restaurant in your town, have fun with it!

Some other habits could be…

• Drinking more water instead of pop: A great starting point could be drinking Zevia. The idea here is that you view this as though you are willing to trade-off pop for Zevia or some sort of soda water versus sacrificing pop for water.  Sacrifice seems to have a negative energy around the word.  Trade-off simply indicates that you’re willing to trade one thing for another straight across.

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• Bike for 15 minutes instead of watching tv - or is there a way to do both? Watching a documentary, a YouTube video, or an episode of your favourite show while going on the bike will help get you started and the time pass for you.

• Listen to an audiobook while going for a walk in the morning - great way to learn about a subject or listen to a powerful autobiography while getting some steps in.

• Deep breath work when feeling overwhelmed which will help with getting recentered and leading towards better decision making, reduction in stress, etc. The box method is fairly common and super effective. Breathe out for 4 seconds, breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and release for 4 seconds, do this 4 times.

• Reading instead of Social Media before bed, this ties into putting your phone in the bathroom on the charger after you brush your teeth and have the book by your bed to read.  If you’re new to reading or don’t enjoy it, try reading an autobiography of someone you admire or is of interest to you, or trade reading a physical book for an audiobook when you go for your runs and walks.  The other option could be to journal in the evenings right before bed instead of reading, write out your day and what you are grateful for as an example.

It’s going to get hard and it’s supposed to.  Making improvements in your life requires pulling you outside of your comfort zone but that’s the idea.  Always revert back to why you started when it gets hard.

Need a Vision and a Why - Walk through the FOCUS Worksheet - what’s the reward you’re giving yourself at the end of the 66 days? Are you interested or committed? If you’re interested, you’ll do what’s convenient.  If you’re committed, you’ll do whatever it takes regardless of how you feel.  

How committed are you on a scale of 1-10? If it’s anything less than a 10, what needs to happen for you to make it a 10 and take one small action step today towards your new habit? If you start on January 1st, it’s too late.  Think about it.  By starting down the road, it’s like hitting the snooze button in the morning, you’re starting with procrastination and that’s not going to put you on the path to lasting improvement.

Know that it’s less about the outcome and more about WHO YOU BECOME along the way.  Think about making progress over perfection, don’t be hard on yourself if you’re not there in 66 days. It can take longer and it can also come a lot quicker too.

Help yourself by making the actions that are a vote for who you’re becoming automatic.

P.S> if you want a copy of the FOCUS worksheet, comment below and I'll email it to you.

You got this!
 

Brandin

Recently, I reached out to top performing Dealer Groups about ReThinkU Performance Coaching.  While there are a few who understand what Performance Coaching is, more are under the assumption that consulting and coaching are one of the same when in reality, they are vastly different.  I can understand this because I wasn't clear at first either.  And considering that there are consultants masking themselves as coaches doesn't help with bringing clarity to the situation. 

One isn't necessarily better than the other.  Both are services our industry needs.  But it is important to have clarity on what you're investing in.  For a clear understanding on the main differences, this Forbes article seems to paint the best picture. 

They summarize 13 key differences:

1. Truth vs Execution

2. Instruction vs Guidance

3. Building Capacity vs Solving a Problem

4. Outside Expertise or Internally-Driven Growth

5. Exploring vs Providing Possibilities

6. "You Know" vs "I Know"

7. Guidance vs Authority

8. Recommendation vs Exploration

9. Asking Questions vs Providing Solutions

10. Different Approach With The Same Intent

11. Focus On Problem or On Client

12. Advice vs Empowerment

13. Difference Lies In Who The Expert Is

You got this!

Brandin

There is a massive difference between a self-proclaimed "Coach" who is yet to be professionally certified but somehow has been able to master all forms of Coaching - as well as Consulting, and an ICF accredited Performance Coach. 

Performance coaches are highly sought after by business owners, managers, executives, athletes, and entrepreneurs who are looking to take their skills to the next level.

Here is what Performance Coaching has to offer... 

Performance coaching fills the gap in the ability to see blind spots, provides strategic planning for achieving goals and offers additional accountability as you stretch yourself beyond what you feel is possible.

Implementing research-backed tools to help become laser focused in a specific area of your business, life or personal wellness, Performance Coaching is specific in its end game – helping to become the ideal version of oneself.

Performance Coaching for Dealer Principals and Managers achieves a fulfilling balance between professional goals and personal development.

Working with a Performance Coach can help you to:

- Overcome mental roadblocks to achieving your true potential

- Set and achieve practical, achievable goals

- Develop new skills and strategies

- Maximize your strengths

- Increase your mental resilience 

- Identify your true wants, needs and desires

- Improve your emotional intelligence and communication with others

- Drive your  team towards success

- Address and overcome negative behaviour and patterns

- Create better habits to achieve your goals

It's important to distinguish all forms of Professional Coaching which you can find here.

You got this!

Brandin

We all seek growth, personally and professionally. What I’ve come to understand is that growth in a business isn’t measured by ROI alone. There is a secondary and arguably even more important measurement which is the VOI. 

ROI (Return on Investment) is the financial return on an investment. 

VOI (Value on Investment) is clearly more difficult to measure because it’s based on the intangible assets that contribute heavily to your dealership’s performance. 

VOI can include: 

– Increased clarity which leads to lasting intrinsic motivation 

– Habit Development – Stress Reduction

– Mindfulness Improvement 

– Time Management Capitalization 

– Productivity Maximization 

– Perception Shifts which leads to new beliefs 

– Self-Leadership Growth which also leads to increased professional performance 

– Positive & Sustainable Momentum 

How would any or all of the above list of values help in your personal life and with your business? 

What is that worth to you? 

Consider what would be possible for you, both personally and professionally, with intentional focus on the intangibles.

You got this! 

Brandin

I'm working on my metaphors so bear with me on this one...

The Boston Bruins are tied for 1st in the NHL standings right now with the highest goal differential. Brandon Carlo in particular is having a career year thus far. No doubt they have a roster full of skilled players, but the difference between them and the likes of Toronto Maple Leafs, Tampa Bay Lighting, or San Jose Sharks for example is that they are getting the most out of EVERY player.

Think of your dealership as the Toronto Maple Leafs, and your competition as the Boston Bruins. You both have skilled rosters, you both train, practice and invest in your team. The difference is that they're taking their teams game to another level and getting the most out of everyone.

How? It could be by practicing more, running through more plays, working on skating/passing/shooting, or any other skills and strategies. But it's more about staying in the right frame of mind just like the Boston Bruins.

We still often overlook the value in the mental game. Those who understand it leverage it and see sustained success follow...

You got this!

Brandin

When I talk about being an ICF accredited Performance Coach with others, I typically get the same reaction as I did when I first started as a Car Salesman which you may be able to relate to. This underwhelming & skeptical look comes over their face.  Quite frankly, I don't blame them.  It's the same feeling I had about salespeople before becoming one.  This feeling changed however once I understood what it took to be successful in sales.  In my experience, it wasn't about being able to sell ice to an eskimo - which is what I thought being great as sales was - it was more about how I showed up and was able to serve others.

With Coaching, it's kind of like a car salesman or even a financial advisor, where it seems as though there is no standard to label yourself as one and anyone can do it.  This creates an understandably negative perception on the majority of the industry. But, like salespeople or financial advisors, there are great ones out there who hold themselves to a higher standard.  This is my goal with Performance Coaching and the reason why I became professionally certified - to rise above the negative noise and become the Performance Coach for automotive professionals.   It's important to note that I'm not looking for the most clients, but rather the right clients.
 

Here are the top 6 unexpected benefits 1 year after becoming an ICF Performance Coach:

1. It's developed my leadership skills which in turn has made me a better parent

2. More personal accountability which has led to improved productivity

3. Less reactive to situations which has led to better decision making and control over my emotions

4. A collection of invaluable evergreen resources that I use and share with my family & team

5. Increased motivation and energy levels through improved clarity and purpose

6. A massive reduction in stress which has led to improved performance both personally and professionally

Jeff Bezos says the true secret to business success is to focus on the things that won't change, not the things that will.  In the automotive industry there will always be new sales strategies from sales "experts", the buying experience will continue to evolve, the way we market will change, and so on.  

What won't change?

The importance of leadership, consistently showing up with a positive and growth mindset, culture, teamwork, and overall personal performance which is directly correlated to professional performance. 

Being able to effectively communicate, coach, and lead current and future generations won't ever change and will undoubtedly pay dividends in the long-term.  In order to effectively lead others however, we must first know how to effectively lead ourselves.  We tend to only see the next 30 days in the automotive industry rather than look at the long game.  We must start looking at long-term investments in ourselves if we want to realize our potential and improve the perception on our profession. 

When we focus our efforts on what won't change, we can work with confidence knowing that our time and financial investment will pay dividends in the years to come regardless of where our industry goes and how much it changes. 

The added benefit to focusing on what won't change is what it will do in your personal life as well. 

You got this!

Brandin
 

Why Habits are important...

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

A habit is something we do regularly without consciously thinking much about it. It’s an automatic mental and behavioural activity.

- 40% of our current actions are habitual 

- Leveraged the right way, they allow us to operate at a high-level without spending excessive amounts of mental energy

- The downfall to habits are the negative ones that we mindlessly operate on. We must find a way to be aware of the habits that are holding us back

How to break poor habits and turn them into stronger ones…

- Recognize the Trigger – if you don’t know what triggers your poor habits, you’ll never change it because you’ll already be doing it before you realize it. There are only 5 Triggers –  location, time, emotional state, other people, and the immediately preceding action

- Create a new Routine that supports the stronger habit

- Tie the new habit to a Reward 

- Link it to a Higher Purpose

For a personal example;

Getting up 30 minutes earlier each morning to workout… put clothes by the bed the night before (trigger), go for a 20 minute walk (routine) and have a piece of dark chocolate during the day (reward).  This will lead to a healthier lifestyle for you and your family, you’ll feel better, perform better and have lasting energy (higher purpose)

For a professional example;

Bringing your best self every day… how you show up matters, when you get in your vehicle to head to work (trigger), start your morning method for the day (routine) and the productivity of the team will vastly increase (reward) which will contribute to increased profits and reduced stress levels for the entire organization (higher purpose)

4 ways to sustain new, stronger habits…

1. Link it to a higher purpose – this will remind you of the bigger reason as to why you’re doing the little things daily to progress towards your end goal

2. Deliberate practice – intentionality is key because it elevates awareness around the progression of your habit development

3. Consistency – same as if you were to stop contributing to your investments monthly, the compound interest gained wouldn’t be diminished completely, but it will take a major hit.  It’s critical to remain consistent

4. Being mindful – when we say yes to a new habit, we’re saying no to something else. The new habit could be spending quality time with people who are further along the journey than you which means you’re spending less time with the people you’ve currently been spending time with.  Be mindful of the choices you make and be 110% certain that’s what you truly want

You got this!

Brandin

Do you have your awards sitting on the shelf behind you in your office? Are they individual awards or dealership awards?

If they are dealership awards, who are you showing the awards off to? Clients? Vendors? Yourself? What kind of message do you believe you are sending to your team by having the awards proudly on display behind you versus on display in the showroom or a dedicated area for all to see?

Tom Cochran said life is a highway, well what I’ve discovered is that the speed limit for me is 80mph and my environment - material items and people - is what dictates my speed, along with my discipline, routines, and habits. If the speed limit was 80mph would you drive 50mph? It’s ok to do it for a short period of time to take in the views and appreciate the scenery but not for any sustainable period of time. Driving 80mph then going down to 50mph feels like you’re crawling along the highway - a legal form of torture! Don’t allow your environment to slow you or your team down. The goal is to add energy to the room not draw from it.  Simply by moving the dealership awards from your office to the showroom, you’re adding energy to the room because you’re showing appreciation and praise to the entire organization who earned that award along with you.

What I found earlier in my career is that the same is true for going 120mph.  It’s difficult to sustain high-performance and a healthy environment - at home or the dealership - when we’re redlining the engine. Worse yet, we move so fast with our head down that we miss the scenery altogether. Our scenery could be our kids sporting events, school plays, or the personal and professional successes of our team. When I was “hustling” too hard for too long, my expectations grew substantially for the team to do the same. I expected them to keep up to my speed. If I was going 120mph and they were going 80mph, I felt like they were crawling. The lack of awareness around the damage I was doing to my engine is what led to the lack of praise the team deserved, burnout, mood swings, and an unhealthy environment.

I encourage you to ask one simple question as you walk through the dealership doors every morning… “Am I adding energy to the team or drawing from them?”  As a leader, I’m sure you’d agree that it’s your responsibility to provide the environment you and your team needs to succeed.

You got this!

Brandin